When is the last time you heard someone say to you or a friend, “If I were you I would get a divorce”? I hear it all the time in my office. I had a young man in my office just two weeks ago who told me, “My friends said that I should get a divorce and I think they are right!” Wow! I am amazed at how many people get talked into a life changing decision without finding the consequences of divorce.
Don’t expect your friends or family to give good advice when you have marriage problems
I let my clients know upfront that divorce is a sobering experience. It’s not for the faint of heart. Not only does it terminate the marital relationship, divorce can also terminate relationships with your in-laws, good friends and even your own family. What is the price you will pay for your divorce? Well my friends, here are some facts that may enlighten you on divorce in the US:
United States Divorce Statistics
Most people already know that around 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. The number is similarly high in many other developed nations.
When you break that down by number of marriages:
- 53 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
- 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
- 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.
In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorce per week.
The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.
Statistics on the Likelihood of Divorce
- If your parents are happily married, your risk of divorce decreases by 14 percent.
- People who wait to marry until they are over the age of 25 are 24 percent less likely to get divorced.
- Living together prior to getting married can increase the chance of getting divorced by as much as 40 percent.
Divorce and Children Statistics
- The divorce rate among couples with children is 40 percent lower than couples without children.
- Forty-three percent of children growing up in America today are being raised without their fathers.
- Seventy-five percent of children with divorced parents live with their mother.
- Twenty-eight percent of children living with a divorced parent live in a household with an income below the poverty line.
- Half of all American children will witness the breakup of a parent’s marriage. Of these children, close to half will also see the breakup of a parent’s second marriage.
These are very enlightening statistics, in fact several of you will be able to relate to some of these numbers. Before you even consider getting a divorce make sure that you talk to someone who can help you sort through the mess you’re in. If you’re listening to a friend who is giving you advice about ending your marriage, don’t! They may think they’re looking out for your best interest, but they don’t see the pitfalls that can cost you your marriage in case it is salvageable. Don’t forget, divorce cost you financially in the long run. Divorce should only be an option if you can’t work things out and/or the other party wants no part of reconciliation.
Before you see a lawyer, please give me a call and let’s talk about the problems in your marriage…all of them! Many issues in an unhealthy marriage are misunderstandings, lack of communication or unwillingness to make changes to fix the marriage. Maybe you need to be heard and the only way to get your spouse to listen is to threaten divorce. Is it possible you don’t know how to sit down and talk about your problems and end up arguing and getting nowhere? If that’s the case, I can help you set up a game plan that will get your questions answered and how to plan your future. Don’t let your marriage fail because of your lack of doing nothing to change things. The regrets I hear from a broken hearted divorced spouse causes a lot of pain for everyone involved. Don’t live in the “would have, should have, could have” world. I want people to know that giving your marriage every chance to survive is worth the effort. If it doesn’t work, then you can look back and say, “I gave it my all.”
Are you in a difficult, loveless marriage and need help in getting control of it? Do you want to confront your spouse with your concerns? Do you need help in putting together your talking points? Are you someone who needs help in stopping negative thoughts about your spouse? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call he can help you.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call at 303.456.0555! You’ll be glad you did!