Dr. Brooks Rants

Holiday divorces can be prevented

OK, the holidays are a bad time to talk about getting a divorce. Why is that divorces seem to happen more around the holidays? I have been asked that question several times. Let’s face it with both spouses working, there is little time to see each other. You both are busy working Monday through Friday, Saturday is used for running errands that you can’t do during the week, and Sunday is used for resting in front of the television all day.

Here is where the problem begins, you get two people who don’t connect during the week, way to busy! Then on Saturday, these individuals do their own thing, not talking or planning anything. Sunday comes along, and they sleep late. maybe sit across from each other at the kitchen table. He goes and watches some football game, she goes and reads a book. When does this couple have time to sit down and talk? They don’t make time for each other.

When the holidays are here, they are forced to spend time with each other, no work to go to, and the TV and book reading gets boring. They sit and the couch and try small talk, and they realize they don’t really know each other and certainly don’t like being around together. A fights happens and the rest is history.

During the holidays, take time to get to know your spouse, have a date night, do some fun things together. Have a planned talk time with out the TV, or radio on. Don’t talk to your spouse while trying to read a newspaper, or read a book. Focus on them, pay attention to what they are saying, ask questions, get involved with their lives. For many couples this year and around these holidays, the talk of divorce will be breaking hearts when we should be celebrating with family and friends.