How much will your divorce cost you, your ex and your children?
What is your marriage worth to you? How do you put a price tag on 5, 10, 15, or 20+ years of marriage? It amazes me when couples break up how they say “You owe me plenty for staying with you in this loveless marriage.” When I hear that in my divorce and counseling practice, I ask myself “What is their marriage really worth?”
We watch plenty of athletes divorce and end up paying millions in cash, houses, vacation homes, etc. Do you think Tiger Woods was happy giving Elin Nordegren $100 million? Michael Jordan’s wife Juanita Vanoy received $168 million in their divorce. Paul McCarthy’s ex wife Heather Mills asked for $108 million dollars and won. That’s $27 million dollars for every year that they were married.
Most divorcing couples will fight and each will demand the house, the entire bank account, all the assets, the pets, everything they own in an attempt to get even with their spouse. Well folks, it doesn’t always work that way! Usually everything evenly divided right down the middle. This includes assets, cash, savings, property and cars.
What about the children? Well that’s another story. A visitation schedule will have to be set up that will require working and planning with both parents. Determining where the children live, holiday schedules and who will get primary custody is another battle typically fought. Most may not agree with the arrangement but keeping the children’s best interest in mind is most important. Some couples will use their children as pawns to get back at each other. This is when I suggest compromising on the children’s behalf.
A few years ago a client of mine shared the story of how his ex-wife had used their daughter as a pawn to get back at him. He told me how he had rented a motor home and had planned a summer vacation with his 12 year old daughter to visit relatives in Ohio. Two weeks prior to their trip he and his ex-wife had gotten into an argument over the phone. As a way to punish him for the argument, she delayed allowing their daughter to meet him by several days. “Don’t argue with me” she said, “I hold the cards on visitation! It will cost you lots of money to fight this I know you don’t have it.” She was right and he knew it.
So, again I ask you this question, how much is your marriage worth to you? It’s not only measured in dollars and cents, but also in relationships with your children who need both parents. As adults we have to put our differences aside and meet our children’s needs! I have heard heart breaking stories where mom or dad has promised to pick up their children for a fun night out and they’re a no-show. The children wait by the window looking for mom or dad only to be disappointed.
So if you think about what a marriage is worth, what is it worth to you in the long run? Can we put a price on our children? Can we put a price on their happiness? Can we put a price on our own happiness?
Many of my readers have expressed an interest in talking with me about how to save their marriage, or how to end it. Having gone through a divorce myself, I understand what you’re going through and I’m here to help. My calendar is available for you to schedule a no obligation, 30 minute appointment to decide if divorce coaching or divorce counseling can help you. I can help walk you through the process, step-by-step, whatever option you choose.
The issue of divorce won’t go away by itself. Let me help you resolve what can be one of the most difficult times in your life. You can start moving forward again. Make that your first step right now and schedule an appointment.
Master Life Coaching, Divorce coaching and counseling is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. Avoid travel time and never leave the comfort of your home to meet with me. I have many out-of-state clients who prefer to meet over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado.