“Don’t you remember I told you that I would be running errands after work today? I told you last week while you were in the shower. You never listen to me”, as she scolded her husband!
It’s amazing how at times we think someone is listening to us when in reality they are not! Who would want a message delivered to them while taking a shower and how many of us would remember what was said? Think about this: when was the last time you had a heart-to-heart talk with someone that truly communicated back with you? How many of us assume that the one we’re talking to really understands what we’re thinking or what our next move will be? Many people make those assumptions and I see them in my office every day!
Today we are going to look at ways to communicate better. How can we get our message across with total understanding? Let’s face it–one of the primary reasons for divorce is that couples do not know how to communicate with each other. Lack of effective communication is also a big reason why companies have problems in the work place. As parents, we all struggle at times communicating with our children. It can even happen on the football field and basketball courts at the professional, collegiate, and high school levels.
A few years ago I encountered a married couple that argued with each other throughout the counseling session. Each claimed that the other was not listening as they went back and forth. I watched and listened to this for a few moments then interrupted them by saying, “Whoa, whoa, listen to yourself! You’re both talking at the same time and cannot hear what the other is saying.” They stopped and looked at each other and laughed. They ‘got it’ after it was pointed out to them. How can we know what’s on our mate’s mind and heart if we don’t take the time to listen to each other? Lack of communication happens on the football field when one defensive back gives up a touchdown because of his lack of communication with the other defensive backs on his team!
What are some of the skills we need to learn so we can communicate better? First of all, we need to take time to listen! Next, we need to learn how to verbalize our wants, needs and desires. Fully explain what those are and don’t assume the other person understands and knows what you want. Go point-by-point and cover the important issues that will help the other person understand where you are coming from. It’s really that simple! Unlike the woman who told her husband she was running errands while he was taking a shower, we need to learn how to communicate at the right time and the right place to avoid misunderstandings, confusion and arguments.
Do you have a difficult time communicating with others? Do you lack the skills you need to get your point across? Do people misunderstand what you tell them? Has your lack of communication hurt you in your past and current relationships with friends and family?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, call Dr. Mike and schedule a free consultation. He has taught many people how to communicate effectively and he can help you too!
You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at: http://www.applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Dr. Mike also has a new website devoted to those who are considering divorce or are going through a divorce. You can find it at: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Dr. Michael Brooks is founder of Master Life Coaching. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike, divorce coach and counselor over the phone or via Skype in the comfort of their home. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live out of the Denver-metro area.
Many of you have expressed an interest in talking with me about how to save your marriage, or how to end it. Having gone through the pain myself, I’d be glad to help.
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