Electronics and the Death of Relationships (4)
By Dr. Michael Brooks
I have to say that I’ve heard about some pretty responsible kids and how they are respectful of the use of their cell phones. They will tell their parents where they are headed, who they are with and what they are doing. This seems to me, children who respect their parents enough to let them know what’s going at school, after school and the company they keep.
The best advice I can give you, is to refocus the value of cell phones and electronics in the family
Not all cell phone use is bad; there are some advantages to kids having them. They will let you know where your child is at; they can be a good tracking device. In case of an emergency, you can call your family member, or they can call you. There are many educational uses for electronics. So, there are some good things that come from electronics these days!
I think putting time limits on your kid’s usage on their electronics (cell phone, I-pad, TV, etc.) is pretty important. Kids are spending way to much time on electronics instead of face to face conversation. The kids these days are spending an average of 6 hours a day on their electronics. Most parents don’t have a clue as to how many hours their children are in front of their cell phone screen. I think it’s time that they do, and start monitoring how many hours they will allow their children to be playing games, texting, Snap chat, twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. I think you should be getting their passwords and logins. Remember that trust is earned, over a period of time and certainly, by explaining this to your child, this will prevent problems, so get their login and passwords. Get this information before they get any electronics that should be a part of the deal.
I had one client who trusted her daughter and didn’t ask for this information. She noticed her behavior was not what it used to be. She was staying up late and texting on her cell phone. She confronted her 14-year-old daughter and wanted to see who she was talking to. Her daughter no way. It’s her business, and she was not going to show her mother her phone. The mother took away the phone and was shocked that her daughter was sending provocative pictures of herself to several boys at her school. She took her phone away for a month. They talked, and the mother explained to her daughter that she could get into serious trouble with the school and the law. Kids don’t see the problems with cell phone abuse; they are caught up in the moment and don’t think about the consequences of bad behavior on their phones.
In closing, I want you to know that kids who have cell phones, need to respect their parents enough not to abuse the privilege of having one. Parents pay the cell phone bill, and want their kids to have them. But not to be lied to about who their children are talking to, meeting up with, and texting to.
Set boundaries for the use of their cell phone, sit down with your child and go over these boundaries. Do this before you give them a phone, get passwords and log in before their phone is set up. Trust me on this; this will prevent a lot of headaches if your child is abusing the cell phone you got them. Make sure when your together eating meals, or having talks that the phone is turned off.
Do you feel frustrated about your families use of electronics? Have you given up trying to get the kids off their cell phones? Do you want to save your family from electronics but don’t know what your next steps are? Do you want to improve your communication with your family at the dinner table and need help in putting boundaries on all electronics? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow hopelessness to destroy your relationship. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!