The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks
Number three on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is Lack of listening. This plays into my third problem with today’s marriages, the lack of listening to your spouse as they talk with you. Just like Ricky Ricardo in I love Lucy, he ignored her and kept reading the newspaper. A good listener will listen and then respond; a poor listener will not listen but think of ways to respond and not hear what is being said. If you’re the one who wants to set up a talk and make sure your spouse is listening, then have a plan. Don’t overload your spouse at one time with a heavy talk. Break down what you want to talk about in sections. Have specific questions and go over a few of them at a time. Get the input that you need and move on to your other questions. The key here is to know when to stop and listen and then move on.
Learn how to read the person that you’re talking to, know their body language and watch their eyes. They will tell you a lot. If you’re talking to someone and they seem to be reading a script, while looking up in space, they’re not listening to you, all they are doing is trying to figure out what they want to say. These kind of people are very poor at listening and communicating. If someone that you’re talking to has their arms folded and they are rocking side to side as they stand or shaking their foot while sitting, they have tuned you out. Ask them if they are done listening. If they say yes, then no more talking, and end the conversation.
Next week I’ll talk about the lack of intimacy and how it creates big problems in the marriage. Some people need physical touch to feel loved.
Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!