Gossip, you ever give gossip much of a thought? Have you ever been harmed by gossip? I think most of us can truthfully answer that question with a resounding, YES! Did you know that gossip destroys many marriages just in the United States alone?
Last month I had a client call me, she was crying on the other end of her cell phone out of control. Between her sobs she was telling me she shared some of the struggles she was having with her husband with a friend of hers. Oh, oh I thought, mistake number one. Do not share anything about your marriage problems with your friends. It’s OK if you have one friend can be trusted, but most shouldn’t be taken into your confidence. They will use what you have shared with them, to help others in their sphere of influence (yours and their friends) understand your change of behavior. Suddenly the friend that you shared your marriage problems with, will be a Dr. Phil with all encompassing wisdom and knowledge (not). They will share every detail with selected friends, again your and their friends. Then the nature of the beast (gossip) will spread like the flu. Everyone will know what is happening in your bad marriage, eventually your spouse will hear it as well. As this poor woman’s husband did and he filed for divorce the following day
Today’s Tip, don’t share your marriage problems with a gossip. When you confront the gossip, they will drop your friendship like a hot potato. That I can promise you! Contact Dr. Mike Brooks divorce coach and counselor, if you need help.
Many of you have expressed an interest in talking with me about how to save your marriage, or how to end it. Having gone through the pain myself, I’d be glad to help.
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I know the temptation to confide everything to a close friend when coming face to face with a pending divorce. I know the temptation to tell children of the unfairness of their father’s behavior and decisions. In spite of the deep ache to confide the wrongs against me, I knew in the long run it would come back to hurt me.
I didn’t want my divorce…I wanted an intact family. I felt hurt, betrayed, and worthless while my husband was getting all sorts of attention and sympathy because he ‘looked’ so sad and depressed. But I resisted the urge to tell all.
Why? Because I wanted to protect my children and myself from being the objects of cruel gossip. Looking back, I’m glad I made the decision to keep our lives private. My children and I are close, and we’ve been able to move our lives forward with our heads held high.