I was standing in line waiting for a bus to pick me up from the airport to take me to my parked car. While in line, there were two young women talking about one of their friends who was just a few feet in front of them. Everyone within earshot heard them complain about how lazy she was, didn’t wear the right kind of clothes and how she was always late for work. They had no idea how negative they sounded.
As we boarded the bus, they sat in the back row and continued on with their gossiping and running down of this person. I have to say, several of us were just trying to mind our own business, looking up at the ceiling or down at the floor of the bus, but it didn’t seem to work. They got louder as the bus sped up on the highway. The attack and lack of concern about those of us listening in on their conversation was amazing! I wanted to say something to them but felt out of place doing so.
Have you been hurt by someone who said something about you behind your back? Or maybe they said it to your face. Was it a comment that was directed to you by a friend or family member? Perhaps a stranger who was having a bad day took it out on you? I think many people have no idea what their words sound like before they say them. I advise my clients to “taste” their words before they say them. If they don’t “taste” good, then don’t say it! Have you ever said something and just as you said it you think, “Oh my goodness, did I just say that?!” You can’t take back the words once they have been spoken. Unfortunately, the negative reaction is about to take place. Good, bad or indifferent, you know you said something without thinking. Why do we do this to the ones we care about and love?
Let’s look at the areas where we get ourselves into trouble. How about those of you who use sarcasm? “Hey, if you don’t know how to spell a word go look it up, I’m not your dictionary.” Or, “I washed the dishes last night. Who do you think I am, your housekeeper? Do them yourself.” “Pick up your clothes! They won’t wash themselves, you know.” This type of sarcasm is the result of underlining issues that need to be addressed. They can be relationship killers if not put in check.
It makes little difference how many university courses or degrees a person may own. If one cannot use words to move an idea from one point to another, his education is incomplete. —Norman Cousins
It takes so little to make people happy. Just a touch, If we know how to give it, just a word fitly spoken, a slight readjustment of some bolt or pin or bearing in the delicate machinery of a soul. –Frank Crane
Kind words will unlock an iron door. –Kurdish Proverb
Do you regret the words that you have spoken and want help restoring a broken relationship? Do you need to apologize to co-workers or loved ones and need help in offering a sincere apology? Would you like to get help for the hurts you have caused others and to stop your destructive behavior? If you said yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call and set up an appointment today.
I see many couples in my office who have beaten each other up from the poison in the words that they have used on each other. Words that can never be taken back and leave lifelong scars of sadness, despair and brokenness. If you need help in managing this problem that many face contact Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555