The Seven Sins of Martial Discourse (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks
So, here we go, read and see if you’re struggling with number one on my list of discourse. Number one on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is, don’t make assumptions about your spouse and go with your feelings, yes your feelings are important but so is your spouses. But feelings can be dead wrong and create unwanted anger. I recommend that you sit down and listen to each other’s thoughts and in a civil manner talk about them. Get the facts before fighting. If you think about it, how can you present your issues while yelling, screaming, and being belligerent to your partner? All this does is create a hostile environment, and nothing will get accomplished or settled. Have your list and talk about each one, be detailed and present your points logically. Don’t raise your voice and get up and walk away when your spouse doesn’t understand or agree with what you’re saying. Be specific and listen well to the feedback that you receive from your spouse. Don’t jump to conclusions and think logically to what you are hearing and understanding.
I had a couple that I was working with and both were miles apart on how to raise their children. The husband growing up had a mom and dad that yelled at his brothers and sister. The wife, on the other hand, had parents who sat the kids down and calmly talked things out. You can imagine that neither parent was going change the way the dealt with their own kids and this caused some big-time issues in their marriage. I suggested that they sit down and plan on how they would talk to the kids. This was agreed upon in my office, but was it followed at home? Both reverted to using the styles they learned growing up. They assumed that the other would be in agreement with the style they grew up with. The wife thought the husband would use her way and not his. So make no assumptions and talk things over before agreeing to move forward with your plans.
Next week I will be talking about poor communication and how that can be a problem in your marriage.
Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!