When You Can’t Forgive Yourself (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks
My friend, Ray, beat himself up and wouldn’t forgive himself for putting his dad in an Alzheimer care center. He promised he would take care of his dad after his mother passed away. His dad got so bad; he was driving his car on sidewalks, wandering around the neighborhood late at night. His dad wasn’t eating. Ray would drive 12 hours to check up on him. The next door neighbor would keep Ray updated.
Ray’s dad couldn’t forgive Ray putting for putting him in a nursing home, and Ray couldn’t forgive himself for making his dad angry.
The traveling was hard, and the worry that his dad would get in an accident or die from exposure was too much for him. Ray had to get his dad to a care center. His dad told his son Ray that he was the worst person in the world. Ray was filled with guilt, and he couldn’t forgive himself for what he had done. His dad passed away six moths later. After talking with Ray, we covered the pros and cons of putting his dad in a care center. Ray realized it was in his dad’s best interest that he get professional care. He had let go of the guilt and self-unforgiveness and now lives a happy life.
One of the tools I gave him was to start thinking positive thoughts and make some positive changes in dealing with his guilt. Look at the good things you have in your life, I said. Do you have a family, love on them? If you do, center your time and affection on them. What can you do for them that they would appreciate or need? Go out of your way to help others who could use your help. I feel serving others is key in part of taking your life back. Make them the center of attention. This is a great way to let go of unwanted guilt and unforgiveness.
Now you need to let go of the guilt and self-unforgiveness. Create a safe place to go to get away from all these negative feelings that you have lived with. If you keep bringing up the guilt, you’ve been living with how can you add a positive outlook? Get involved with counting your blessings. Who can you thank who has helped you in the time of need? Are there errands you can do for someone you know is not feeling well? Helping others is a good way to take the focus off the guilt you live with and do good by helping others. You are in control of your feelings; you are solely responsible for letting go of the dark days you have lived in. Now you’re responsible for getting into a new and healthy way of looking at things. Life is good if you allow it to happen. It’s all up to you.
Are there things you just can’t let go of, and it’s killing you inside? Do you need help in taking the right steps and learning how to forgive yourself from something in your past? Have you been hurt by someone and need to move on with your life. Do you need freedom from past hurts and to let go? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call he can help you through the process of finding the freedom that you need. Call him at 303.880.9878
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!