Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks
We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.
Typically, when a marriage starts to fail, the one who notices that there are issues will say something about their unmet expectations in the marriage. The lack of communication, the lack of physical intimacy, avoiding doing things together, etc. If nothing happens, then nagging begins, followed by demands and wanting to be heard and that changes better happen soon. If that doesn’t take place then the distance grows between the couple. This happens over a period of time and grows in intensity when the spouse sees nothing happening.
…when the spouse who is not happy in the relationship begins to talk to their friends…
When you’re at wit’s end, then the next step happens, that’s when the spouse who is not happy in the relationship begins to talk to their friends and shares details about their bad marriage, and most likely they will get some bad advice about leaving the marriage. The issue I have with these people giving advice especially to someone having marriage problems is that they are not experienced in coaching or counseling. Most likely they have been through a divorce themselves and never received any counseling and listened to well-meaning friends who also got bad advice. This cycle continues to be a bad problem to this day. Seek help from professionals who can help you in making wise choices in your next steps.
Step one, when you’re the spouse who is wanting to work on the marriage, there are things you have to consider. Are the things you want to talk about to your spouse going to be planned out in advance by you? What are the issues, can you be calm and rational during your talk? Have you thought out what needs to be addressed and not a spontaneity moment discussion. If it’s not a well thought out talk, then you will be all over the map when trying to figure out a plan while talking with your spouse. You will walk away more frustrated than before you had your talk. When planning your talk, don’t personally attack your partner, come up with solutions you both can talk about. Ask for feedback during your talk. Always try to find a compromise that works for both of you, if you can’t then come back and try talking again at a later time or date.
In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce and what to do about it.
Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!