The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks
In todays article I believe that “The lack of communication in marriages today is a major reason for divorces.” Dr. Mike Brooks.
I have some suggestions for those of you who want to have a great marriage, (Work on it daily!) Please read and learn from these articles and how they can prevent divorce. Just being a spectator in your marriage will not work!
Let’s look at the lack of communication and how that can destroy your marriage, and any relationship for that matter! More often than not spouses seem to think that their better half can read their minds and know what to say and do. I have heard this over and over in my office several times. Here is a classic example. Wife says to husband, “Honey did you put gas in my car?” Why, no I didn’t, why do you ask? “You always do and I was just reminding you that I need gas in my car.” I’m sure many of you can give an example of the spouse knowing what’s going on in your mind. I’ve done it as I’m sure many of you have. This is one of the ways we don’t communicate with each other. I tell my clients, talk about everything that you feel you should talk about in your marriage. Things don’t get better by ignoring a growing problem, do they? Of course not, nor should you expect them to fix themselves without the input put from you or your spouse. My feeling is this, if you have something that just gnawing at you, speak up and talk about it. I firmly believe that lack of communication is the number one reason for divorce. It doesn’t have to be that way, but it is.
Well, Dr. Mike, my wife and I start talking about our problems, but we seem to get into a heated shouting match, what about that? Great question! If you have a plan on what you want to talk about, stick with the plan. Where couples start to get angry and fight is when they get off topic and start to bunny trail and all heck breaks loose. Just stay on point and look at each other’s point of view. You don’t always have to be right; you can bend a little and compromise with each other. That’s not so bad is it? You don’t always have to be right either. Listen to what is being said and then address the issue. Here’s what will hinder good and honest communication:
- You always have to be right
- You always have to get the last word in
- You don’t listen to what is being said, you are forming a response and not hearing anything about the problem.
- You blame your spouse for your problems
- You play the victim card trying to change the subject
- You simply avoid talking with your spouse
The art of listening and speaking is not difficult, you just have to be respectful and considerate when talking or shall we say communicating with each other. My number one rule is, don’t interrupt when the other is speaking. Listen well to what is being said, and don’t jump to conclusions, which by the way is pretty easy to do. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.
Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!