Show me That You Love Me! (6) By Dr Michael Brooks
This week, I want to talk about physical touch, and how that can be an important love language if your spouse loves to touch. Can a marriage be built-up by knowing the five love languages? Absolutely. If you learn about the five love languages and how they can apply to your spouse and actually use them, you will see your marriage grow stronger and your communication improves.
I ask this question at my seminars and when seeing clients at my office, “Who loves holding hands?” And I’ll ask my readers, do you? I know physical touch is important to so many of you. I know many couples who connect while driving to do errands or road trips and they will hold hands. Physical touch comes in many forms, a kiss, a pat on the back, hand-holding, giving a massage, arm in arm, leaning on each other, hugs, and physical intimacy. If you think about it, young children love being hugged by their mothers, that’s the way moms and babies connect.
Looking back, probably your first experience of a love language was physical touch by holding hands, remember how thrilling was that? Touching is good for the soul and your spirit. Most of us love being touched by our spouse.
People have many ways they touch and not necessarily in a spousal relationship. When you greet someone, the handshake is the most common. The hug can be used to comfort someone who is hurting or a greeting, the slap on the back for celebrating after doing something in sports or a big accomplishment. There are many physical touches in that sense, that still show we care.
Growing up, I saw my parents show their love towards each other every day my dad came home from work; mom would greet him with a kiss and hug every time he walked through the door. We kids would run and greet my dad as well, it was the way we all connected and that was by group hugs.
Now physical touch in marriage, that is key to letting your spouse know that you love and care about them. There are some marriages where physical intimacy is not possible. Age, injuries, disease, emotional issues, etc. There are other ways these people show their love to each other. Words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and quality time. You should sit down with your spouse and talk about the physical needs each of you has. I know this can be difficult maybe even embarrassing as well, but it should be done.
Physical touch brings couples together in many different ways, there is emotional touching as well, getting to know each other on the communication side helps build a solid marriage, and the actual physical touching to connect that way. Both are important in my humble opinion. When a spouse is hurting for some reason, the other usually can tell something is going on, a hug can be a lifesaver and healing too. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, whatever it may be, physical touch can start the healing process. Be aware of all levels of physical touch and how important they can be to your spouse.
In closing, the Five Love Languages can build up a hurting marriage, or a marriage on the rocks, you just have to apply the Five Love languages to your marriage and each other. There is no reason why a bad marriage with poor communication, can’t be healed. Contact me if you need help, I’m here for you!
Would you like to build a better marriage and don’t know how? Do you want help in knowing how to be a better communicator and help your marriage grow? Do you need help in mastering the 5 Love languages and how applying them will help you build a stronger relationship? Do you need help in figuring out what your Five love languages are? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!