When Your Anger Controls You! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks
Over the years, I have known several people, including some friends of mine, that have serious anger issues. I’ve never been an angry person, nor has anybody in my family growing up! I was wondering how even to start this article today with so many people angry with the COVID-19 pandemic and with the civil unrest in our country. People are angry if you don’t wear a mask, people are upset if you do wear a mask. We have a lot of angry people walking around our streets, in stores, in homes. I am seeing angry people everywhere, where I go grocery shopping, at the parks that I walk at, people in general are angry and upset.
An angry man driving a vehicle is expressing his road rage. Can you control your anger?
This past weekend I had a friend of mine who got upset and angry that a woman he was interested in and going to meet, and hike with, called and canceled on him. I explained that there was an unforeseen medical emergency for this woman. His immediate response was, “Boy, she has a lot of excuses for not showing up to events.” I looked at him disbelief and explained again about this woman’s son was rushed to the ER overnight. He didn’t get it; it was all about him, not this other person’s emergency, and he stewed about it all day. He was upset at this individual and angry about her not showing up.
I’m sure we all have had those individuals in our family or friends that show the angry side once in a while. This sad and upsetting behavior needs to be confronted at one time or another. Honestly, I used to let people live in their anger and ignore it. Sure, it bothered me, and I knew that hanging around someone that has an anger problem isn’t healthy for them or for me. I decided to do something about it. I have set boundaries for myself, if someone has anger issues and they don’t deal with their anger after I speak with them, and they continue being angry, I am done with them. My life has been so much more at peace since I’ve done that.
So what causes anger issues in each one of us? There are several reasons that cause anger triggers in people: These include personal problems, stress, family problems, financial issues, unmet expectations in a relationship, or at work. Maybe someone cancels a planned event that you were going to attend. Rush hour traffic, car accidents, perhaps some people feel threatened by others or intimidated by their social status. There are several reasons why anger can be an issue for some people.
Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.
Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!
Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.