The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks
I was shopping at a Home Depot store and watched a disabled man trying to walk through the paint department isles along with his wife. He was struggling to walk through obstacles that were placed in the isle. He was frail and in pain as he walked. I was close enough to hear their discussion about a color of paint for a room they wanted painted. He was trying to get a color of a paint that would brighten the room he liked to sit in.
She laid into him and said loud enough for everyone to hear “if we get that color of paint, you can paint the room yourself” I could see the hurt on his face and the embarrassment of her tongue lashing he received in public. I thought to myself how would I deal with this behavior from my wife? I’m not sure what I would do. I feel that there is life and death in the tongue by the way we speak to each other. I’m not judging her whatsoever, who knows what was going on before I heard their discussion. Maybe he was hard on her by some of the things he said prior to going to home depot.
Our words are always being measured by the things we say and how we say them. I’m sure you have heard the old saying “Actions speak louder than words,” or “Taste your words before you say them.” Growing up in a military family I watched my dad on how he treated my mom. He was always saying encouraging words to her. I never saw my parents argue or have a heated debate. They were respectful in what they said to each other.
I have seen couples in my office that lost control of the words they spoke to each other. I could see the facial expression of the one spouse who was on the receiving end of verbal abuse. The damaging effects it has can be a lifetime of painful memories. I’m sure all of us have been in some form of disagreement with our spouses. We may be justified in how we feel but how we share that frustration is key in having a healthy marriage. I believe that most failed marriages are a result of extremely poor communication. How we relate to each other without demanding our own way in a heated argument is pretty important.
Sometimes we just have to step back and evaluate what the costs are of winning an argument. Is it worth it if it means saying harsh and cruel words towards your spouse? Do you need to be sarcastic to prove a point? Are your war of words necessary to crush the spirit of your spouse for a short gain win? If you know that you’re about to get into a disagreement then both of you should know the rules of a verbal disagreement. Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.
Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.