Are You Addicted to Facebook? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (5)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook”, there will be tips on how to take action and make changes in your life and avoid the pitfalls of addiction to Facebook.

Can you stay off Facebook for a period of time? This is a tough question and can you really take time away from Facebook? If you’re addicted this will be near impossible task for you to do. So, let’s say you’re willing to give this a try. Let’s see if you can take a break for one week. Let your friends know that you’ll be away from Facebook for a one week period. Then step away and let’s see what happens. Try not to peek and see what’s going on Facebook, stay away. This will probably open some peoples eyes and expose the addiction they have to Facebook.

Don’t let Facebook control your emotions!

How can I have a better experience on Facebook without all the drama? I want to avoid getting involved with unhealthy people on Facebook, so what do you suggest? I suggest that you look carefully at your Facebook profile and see if it’s honest and accurate. If it isn’t, then make honest changes and stay true to your updated and honest profile and don’t make any more changes. If you are constantly changing and updating your profile, then it shows that you’re worried about your Facebook image.

How many friends are enough for you? I have seen people with 5,000 friends and I often wonder, how do they ever keep up with so many Facebook friends? It seems like an ego issue. Why bother having so many friends. I have plenty of friends on facebook and most of them like my encouraging words I have for them. I add fun outdoor events that I attend for the family and for someone just wanting to enjoy the outdoors. I post short devotionals that are uplifting and help those hurting or need something to start their day off on the right foot. Many of my followers share my posts that offer insights on how to be a better person. I don’t post political or radical insights. I think it best to avoid these kinds of temptations. Some of my friends love to do battle with their political positions.

If you think that having thousands of friends on facebook makes you popular, think again. I’d bet most of you who have thousands of friends hardly know most of these people. Self-worth should not be dependant on how many friends you have on Facebook, if it is, this is a dangerous road to be on. If you’re struggling with other addictions it can complicate those addictions with a false sense of security. Resist the urge to keep adding people you don’t know on your friend’s list. If you don’t know them or know very little about them, avoid that pitfall of adding people you don’t know to new a friends list.

Next week, I will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook? There will be some tips on how to deal with addictions to Facebook and what to look for in those who you feel have a problem with facebook.

There are benefits to having friends on Facebook, I have several that I look forward to talking with on Facebook and talking with them on the phone. I use Facebook for helping others through difficult times. So, if you feel that your addicted to Facebook or are not sure, ask yourself these questions. Do I spend to much time on Facebook during the day? Do I have to keep building my friends list to prove I’m popular? Do I have facebook on my cell phone while eating meals? Do I wake up and go to bed with checking my Facebook page? Do I need help with my addiction to Facebook? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Addicted to Facebook? (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (4)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook”, there will be tips on how to take action and make changes in your life and avoid the pitfalls of addiction to Facebook.

Don’t let Facebook control your life!

I would like you to make twenty-four boxes on a sheet of paper, each square represents one hour during a twenty-four hour day. Record what you’re doing for each hour that you’re on Facebook for one week. Be accurate on what you write down, honesty is key to making this work. I want you to write down the following things you do on Facebook.

  • How many times a day do you log-in or are on Facebook?
  • How much time do you spend wandering through Facebook posts? Are You looking at new FB friend requests? Are you reading up on what your friends are doing? Do you spend hours looking for a conversation that you can post on.
  • Do you respond to pokes or looking at your friend’s updates on their profiles? Do you read history stories, take trivia tests or do you listen to all kinds of music? Do you need Facebook birthday wishes from your Facebook friends to make your day?
  • Do you love reading about peoples drama on their posts? Do you follow this person posts and see what other people are saying in response? Do you get upset if you don’t like what someone said about one of your Facebook friends? Do you take personally some of the things directed at you in a heated discussion.
  • When accepting a friend request, how much do you really know about the person asking for the request? Do they add value and enrich your life on Facebook? Are you using high profile friends to attract other Facebook friends requests?

What attracts you to Facebook and why are you using Facebook? Whenever I talk with clients, I ask them do you have a set of boundaries when using Facebook? What time limits do you put on yourself when on Facebook? Are you using Facebook for leads for your job or company you work for? Do you check out people’s profiles and make sure that your new friend’s requests are good and healthy people for you? There needs to be a value for you when making new friends on Facebook. What do you get out of Facebook? Here are some thoughts I have:

  • Does Facebook give you a better quality of life?
  • Do you enjoy spending time on Facebook?
  • Do you have time to make new friends and keep connected with them?
  • Are you comfortable asking new friends personal questions about family, jobs everyday questions?
  • Does Facebook improve your relationship with others and help you with your own professional life.

There are benefits to having friends on Facebook, I have several that I look forward to talking with on Facebook and talking with them on the phone. I use Facebook for helping others through difficult times. So, if you feel that your addicted to Facebook or are not sure, ask yourself these questions. Do I spend to much time on Facebook during the day? Do I have to keep building my friends list to prove I’m popular? Do I have facebook on my cell phone while eating meals? Do I wake up and go to bed with checking my Facebook page? Do I need help with my addiction to Facebook? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Next week, I will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook? There will be some tips on how to deal with addictions to Facebook and what to look for in those who you feel have a problem with facebook.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

 

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Are You Addicted to Facebook? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (3)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook”, I will provide tips on how to take action and make changes in your life to avoid the pitfalls of addiction to Facebook.

Do you have many friends on Facebook but you’re still lonely and feel abandoned by friends in your sphere of influence? Is your personal life a struggle, and you just don’t fit into any group of friends? Have you found one or more Facebook friends and believe they are your best friends? On Facebook do you pretend to be someone that you’re not?

Does Facebook interrupt your sleeping patterns, you go to bed at a certain time and a friend texts you from Facebook and you spend hours at texting them, knowing you have to get up early for work. Do you make up excuses to stay up late at night to fill a need for feeling important.

Many will look at Facebook late at night while others are sleeping. Your addiction??

Now ask yourself this question, why am I on Facebook? Why do I spend so many hours talking to strangers I don’t even know a thing about and I am now calling them my close friends? Do I ask them personal questions about their lives, or ask them about family or about their work? If you’re just trying to fill your list of how many friends you have by the numbers of friends you have on Facebook, then I think there is a problem. Ask yourself, what am I getting out of Facebook that helps me as a person, that helps me to be a better person than I a?. How am I enriching others by what I post? Do I truly care about the people I have as friends? Do I respond to some of the needs they have? Do I encourage them when they are hurting? Do I respect the people on my friend’s list?

Do you want to do a reality check with the amount of time that you spend on facebook? Do you care about Facebook interfering with your family time, or the time you are at work? If you are, I want you to do something that will require some time and effort. This will be a self-evaluation on how many hours you’re on Facebook. For some it will open your eyes, and others..they may not even care!

Next week, I will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook? There will be some tips on how to deal with addictions to Facebook and what to look for in those who you feel have a problem with facebook.

There are benefits to having friends on Facebook, I have several that I look forward to talking with on Facebook and talking with them on the phone. I use Facebook for helping others through difficult times. So, if you feel that your addicted to Facebook or are not sure, ask yourself these questions. Do I spend to much time on Facebook during the day? Do I have to keep building my friends list to prove I’m popular? Do I have facebook on my cell phone while eating meals? Do I wake up and go to bed with checking my Facebook page? Do I need help with my addiction to Facebook? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Addicted to Facebook? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (2)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook”, there will be tips on how to take action and make changes in your life and avoid the pitfalls of addiction to Facebook.

Here are some of my tips in recognizing if you have a Facebook addition (FA).

You wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, you take your cell phone to the bathroom with you and check your Facebook status, you read your posts to see if someone has commented or liked one of them. You look for New Friend requests and approve or disapprove these requests, after reading their profiles.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night top check your FaceBook account?

Do you constantly check your facebook page while eating your meals, or while you’re at work? Does Facebook fill the dead time during your day? Does it thrill you when you see that people like your posts? When you’re in a work-related meeting are you’re thinking about the person you need to respond to on Facebook? You can’t seem to focus on school or the job because you feel that you’re being left out on a Facebook conversation you started.

Let’s say you forget and leave your phone at home, can you concentrate on your work? Do you have to have your cell phone with you at all times and if you don’t, would you suffer from withdrawal by not having your cellphone. Do you take risks at work using your company computer just to get on facebook because your cell phone is not with you? Do you keep thinking about the conversations with your Facebook friends and missing friendsupdates that you read from your Facebook friends?

Checking your Facebook account every hour is a sign that you are addicted to Facebook. You can’t stop thinking about what you’re missing on Facebook. You forget to do work related jobs, and make excuses why you couldn’t get those jobs done. Most of your day is think about Facebook and the friends you have on Facebook.

Are you are constantly looking for old friendships from the past, old boyfriends or girlfriends that you dated in high school or college? You fantasize about the what-if, what should be, shoulda, woulda, could be. Do you keep living in the past and seldom leave the past behind you? Do you think about the good old times you had with friends, and you stay stuck and can’t move on? Do you wake up at night thinking about finding these old loves on Facebook? Do you ask old friends if they know where your old flame is and what they are doing today? Do you have no second thoughts about sharing old secrets from a former love? Simply put, if you answered yes to these questions, “You’re stuck in the past.” This is one symptom that you should get help ASAP.

Next week, I will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook? There will be some tips on how to deal with addictions to Facebook and what to look for in those who you feel have a problem with facebook.

There are benefits to having friends on Facebook, I have several that I look forward to talking with on Facebook and talking with them on the phone. I use Facebook for helping others through difficult times. So, if you feel that your addicted to Facebook or are not sure, ask yourself these questions. Do I spend to much time on Facebook during the day? Do I have to keep building my friends list to prove I’m popular? Do I have facebook on my cell phone while eating meals? Do I wake up and go to bed with checking my Facebook page? Do I need help with my addiction to Facebook? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Addicted to Facebook? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (1)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

I walked into a restaurant a few days ago, and as I waited in line to place my order, I looked around and saw most everyone on their cell phones sitting at tables eating. There were entire families on their phones; there were couples not engaged in speaking with each other but sitting across the table from each other texting.

Is Facebook a problem in your relationships?

This is becoming a problem for many individuals who are either addicted to their phones or at the beginning stages of addiction. I hear people talking about FaceBook and the things they read on it. Let’s face it, many people post their dirty laundry (dark secrets) and wonder why they get attacked by followers and complain when others give them advice they don’t want to hear. Believe me, the responses I have seen and have read could be in textbooks in most human behavior classes on what not to say on Facebook.

One woman posted her anger towards an ex-boyfriend as she had probably been drinking when she wrote her post. Boy, the friends of her ex-boyfriend were on her like flies on honey. There was no mercy, and they pointed out all her faults. Then her mother got involved protecting her daughter and attacked those who were attacking her daughter. She called them out one by one and named all the things they were known for. She exposed the cheaters, the boozers (as she called them), the drug users, the dead beat dads. She didn’t hold anything back. It reminded me of the song “Haper Valley PTA” song sung by Jeannie C Riley. The lyrics in this song can be applied to many Facebook conversations and posts.

Think about these questions for a moment: Do Facebook interactions keep you from family time or from doing your work? Do you wake up in the middle of the night to get on Facebook to see who is reading your posts?

I’ll go much deeper into how you know if you’re addicted to Facebook in future articles on this subject. Many relationships are destroyed by their cell phones and the relationships they get involved with on Facebook. Facebook by far is the most used social networking website for teens and adults. Several people I know spend a great deal of time on Facebook and have no clue how many hours a day they are glued to their computers or cell phones. They fail to get school work done, are late for jobs and don’t communicate with family or friends. Medically speaking “Facebook addiction” (FA) is not recognized as a disorder nor is “Facebook Addiction Disorder” (FAD). These issues are real, but are now being brought up in Coaching and counseling sessions. I see on an average of four clients a week who are struggling with these issues with their spouses or children.

If you or someone you know find that connecting with others on Facebook is the only form of communication you have, then I think you are dealing with an addiction to Facebook. If you can see that there is an issue, the sooner you deal with it the better!

Next week, I will continue with “Are You Addicted to Facebook? There will be some tips on how to deal with addictions to Facebook and what to look for in those who you feel have a problem with facebook.

There are benefits to having friends on Facebook; I have several that I look forward to talking with on Facebook and talking with them on the phone. I use Facebook for helping others through difficult times. So, if you feel that your addicted to Facebook or are not sure, ask yourself these questions. Do I spend to much time on Facebook during the day? Do I have to keep building my friends list to prove I’m popular? Do I have facebook on my cell phone while eating meals? Do I wake up and go to bed with checking my Facebook page? Do I need help with my addiction to Facebook? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.

“What do we do now,” is pretty important…

Step three, ok, your relationship is still up in the air after you’ve talked, your not sure where your marriage is headed. You have no answers and yet neither of you wants to commit to getting a divorce, so, what do you do now? I think that this step in figuring “What do we do now,” is pretty important. I suggest starting building each other up, talk about your spouse’s positive attributes and what they mean to you.

If you want to save your marriage, speak up!

What is it that you admire about your spouse, keep in mind you both know each other’s negatives, so don’t go there. I think talking about the good things you like in your spouse opens the doors for healing and the less negative talk there is the better. I suggest you stop talking to people during this time who are encouraging you to get a divorce. Don’t let people poison the possibility of your reconciliation and having a happy life together. People love to gossip and especially about your marriage problems. If you know someone who is a gossip avoid them at all costs. Say positive things about your spouse, most people will never spread something you say when you’re speaking encouraging and positive words about your spouse.

In closing, I want to share with you a story that will give those hope who are considering divorce as a last resort. A dear friend of mine was madly in love with his wife of twenty years. He found out that she was having an affair with a co-worker. You know he was devastated and hurt when he found out. His world was crashing all around him. He asked if she would go to counseling with him, she said no, not interested! He never judged her, he always spoke kindly about her to others. She continued to see this other man, and throughout seven months of that relationship, it started to deteriorate and eventually ended. Several of her friends would tell her that her estranged husband always spoke about her in a positive way. They started dating and renewed their marriage vows. There is hope for those who can stick it out if counseling is considered by both. You don’t always have to run to a divorce lawyer when things get bad. Get the facts, process the facts and then decide after talking to a counselor what you need to do. Don’t rush into anything that you will be sorry for.

In conclusion, you have to decide if you really are committed to working on your marriage or ending it. You can’t go into this with fifty percent wait and see attitude, that’s not how this works. Give it your all or walk away. I’d say go into this with your eyes wide open.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.

I am reminded of a friend whose husband was married to his business and the corporate world. He rarely was ever home, when he was home he’d bring home his work and have his heard buried for hours in spreadsheets and his laptop. They had three children in sports programs that required running them around on weekends. She was doing it all and she asked if he could help her get the kids to their games.

What do you do after a spouse asks for divorce?

He looked at her and said are you kidding me? I’ve got to turn these reports in on Monday. He never helped around the home, and she kept asking for his input with the kids at school and their school projects, etc. She had enough, she talked to a counselor and he suggested that they get marriage counseling. She told him about meeting with the counselor and he went ballistic and said that he didn’t need counseling, that she did. He filed for divorce the next day. She went to counseling faithfully for six months while they were in the process of divorce. She got the professional help she needed and was prepared for the end of her marriage.

…those wayward spouses who have no desire whatsoever to stay in a marriage…

There are those wayward spouses who have no desire whatsoever to stay in a marriage relationship with you, no matter what you’ve done or haven’t done. They have their minds set upon leaving you despite how forgiving you are for their failures. Remember most typically it’s all about them (me, myself and I) and not about you. It’s best to let them go and not fight for them to stay, if you do life will be nothing but headaches and regrets. If you have children, life will be very hard on them if they see you struggling day after day. Protect them from future disappointments with your spouse.

This is where a counselor/coach can help you with your next steps. Instead of guessing at “what am I going to do with my life,” sit down and plan out what your goals are. You’ll need to plan for you and the kids future, possibly finding a job, a new place to live, do you need to go to school and get a degree? There is so much that you’ll have to plan for. You now have to create a life for you and the kids, make the best of it.

In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.

Don’t Give Up On Your Relationship Just Yet, Talk To Dr Mike Before You Do!

If you’re the spouse who wants to leave the marriage, have you sought counseling/coaching on your next steps. Have you looked at every way to save your relationship? Or are you just bailing out on your marriage because you’ve been told life is better on this side of divorce. Many people that I have worked with will tell you once you file for divorce, life is miserable, painful, and hard to get motivated. Many have regretted in divorcing and not working on their marriage. I understand that there are reasons for a legit divorce, you will not get any arguments from me. In the case of adultery, physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, pornography, and abandonment, I get it.

If you’re not happy and feel like your marriage just doesn’t have any excitement and it’s boring, not fun and you’re leaving it for those reasons, life will be miserable for you and most likely you will go from marriage to marriage always looking for something better.

Find a counselor who can help you walk through your problems and hopefully find resolutions.

Step two, the purpose of getting counseling is to help you figure out what your next steps are. Find a counselor who can help you walk through your problems and hopefully find resolutions for you. Listen well to what is being said, open your heart and dig deep to find a way to work together in finding a compromise. I like to think that a coach/counselor is not a judge, but someone who has both of your interests at heart and will work for both of you in getting answers and planning your next steps to move forward in your relationship. I will tell you, this will be hard work but well worth it in the end.

Now, let’s just say that you’ve talked to your clergy, counselor/coach and you can’t find any way that staying together is possible. You have given it your all, you’ve exhausted all your resources of time, and energy. Then it’s time to move on. If you’re the one trying to save your marriage and your spouse will not get counseling or any help for that matter, get help for yourself. Get the healing that you need for you and your kids if necessary. Move on with your life and start planning your future.

In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.

Disappointed wife not getting attention from husband, this marriage is in trouble!

Typically, when a marriage starts to fail, the one who notices that there are issues will say something about their unmet expectations in the marriage. The lack of communication, the lack of physical intimacy, avoiding doing things together, etc. If nothing happens, then nagging begins, followed by demands and wanting to be heard and that changes better happen soon. If that doesn’t take place then the distance grows between the couple. This happens over a period of time and grows in intensity when the spouse sees nothing happening.

…when the spouse who is not happy in the relationship begins to talk to their friends…

When you’re at wit’s end, then the next step happens, that’s when the spouse who is not happy in the relationship begins to talk to their friends and shares details about their bad marriage, and most likely they will get some bad advice about leaving the marriage. The issue I have with these people giving advice especially to someone having marriage problems is that they are not experienced in coaching or counseling. Most likely they have been through a divorce themselves and never received any counseling and listened to well-meaning friends who also got bad advice. This cycle continues to be a bad problem to this day. Seek help from professionals who can help you in making wise choices in your next steps.

Step one, when you’re the spouse who is wanting to work on the marriage, there are things you have to consider. Are the things you want to talk about to your spouse going to be planned out in advance by you? What are the issues, can you be calm and rational during your talk? Have you thought out what needs to be addressed and not a spontaneity moment discussion. If it’s not a well thought out talk, then you will be all over the map when trying to figure out a plan while talking with your spouse. You will walk away more frustrated than before you had your talk. When planning your talk, don’t personally attack your partner, come up with solutions you both can talk about. Ask for feedback during your talk. Always try to find a compromise that works for both of you, if you can’t then come back and try talking again at a later time or date.

In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce and what to do about it.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

 

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Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

For those of you who have never been divorced, you’ll never experience the broken-hearted pain or anything like that going through the breakup of a marriage, wanted or unwanted. The pain and uncertainty are always looming in your head. The battles that you fight within yourself, the questioning of every step you take and the impact it will have on others is always in the back of your mind. The daily struggles emotionally and physically take their toll on the partner who is surprised by hearing their partner wanting a divorce.

I received a call from a client years ago, one late evening, he was telling me that his wife of five years wanted a divorce, just out of the blue. She said that she was done and had no desire to get any help. He begged her to go to counseling with him, she flat out “said no way!” Then she proceeded to lay into him about everything she hated about him. He wasn’t romantic, he never took her out, she needed emotional support when her mother died and he wasn’t there for her during that time she needed him. He knew she had some valid points and conceded he wasn’t meeting some of her needs. He asked her to forgive him and to please go to counseling with him, she still refused to go. Then he shared with me he had no clue that there were serious marriage problems, she never talked about her concerns and what was bothering her for five years. Sadly this marriage ended in Divorce. She checked out of the marriage without ever getting help.

There are many reasons people seek a divorce: adultery, physical and emotional abuse…

So, in order to address these issue we need to look at how the process of divorce begins in the early stages. There are many reasons people seek a divorce: adultery, physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, pornography, abandonment, roommate status, financial irresponsibility, and many other reasons. In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, relationships, Women in abusive relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment