Show me That You Love Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

Show me That You Love Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

This week, I want to go over spending quality time together and how important that is to your spouse. Marriages are also built on doing things together which helps create a positive and healthy marriage.

How important do you think spending quality time together is? Do you like hanging out with your spouse on the weekends, do you enjoy walks and talking together? Quality time is the time you spend together, just the two of you. I like to suggest this time is where you’re not watching TV or reading a book. It’s time where you can talk and listen to each other. That’s where you connect on a deeper level with each other. It can be going on a long drive in the country or an art museum, a ball game, as long as you are talking with each other and having a good time.

I have a friend who loves to ATV, and his wife loves it too. They enjoy riding trails together, exploring new places to ride. She makes a great lunch, and they take a break and have lunch together. Sometimes they fish, go on hikes, work on their house together. It’s a strong and healthy marriage. Why? Because they are together enjoying the time they have as a couple I had one couple I was working with the wife would be glued to the TV when he got home from work, that’s where she was planted all evening. He wanted to spend time with her talking and she was wanting uninterrupted time in front of the TV.

This marriage was in trouble from the get-go. So, what is Quality time to you? Is it just being in the same room and not talking to each other? Is it something you desire and don’t have with your spouse? Are you desiring time with your spouse and want their attention? A good test for you to see who is getting quality time, is go out to a restaurant and watch couples sitting at a table, I do this all the time and watch them interact. I can Guess who is dating and guess who is married, and how I can you tell them apart? Most likely the married couples will be looking at their phones and texting, and the dating couple will be looking at each other and talking! Do me a favor, make a list of things you’d like to do with your spouse, have them make a list as well. Here are some of my tips for having quality time together:

  • Take some time to walk at your local park, talk with each other, go arm in arm. Share your thoughts but talk and spend some time enjoying each other’s company.
  • Take her on a surprise weekend get-away, call and make reservations at a hotel, plan dinner at a nice restaurant, but get away from home.
  • Plan a day on the road, take a road trip to their favorite place, bring a picnic lunch, create some great memories.
  • Meet your spouse for lunch during the week, a place where you both can meet near your work.

This quality time is all about your spouse, give them your undivided attention, show them that they are number one in your life!

Would you like to build a better marriage and don’t know how? Do you want help in knowing how to be a better communicator and help your marriage grow? Do you need help in mastering the 5 Love languages and how applying them will help you build a stronger relationship? Do you need help in figuring out what your Five love languages are? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Show Me That You Love Me! (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

Show me That You Love Me! (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

This week, I want to go over words of affirmation and how important your words can be for building up your spouse. Our marriages should be built on being positive and building up our spouses’ self-esteem and helping them to see the positive that they bring into a marriage.

You may ask, ok, I agree with you Dr. Mike, but what do I need to do to figure out what their love language is? That’s a great question. You can buy the book on Amazon or go to Walmart. There are plenty of places where you can get the book. There is a short test in the back of the book that’ll help you figure out, what their love languages are!

Words of affirmation are so important in keeping a healthy marriage vibrant and close.

Let’s look at the first love language listed. Words of Affirmation, those words would be words that help build someone up. Kind words, appreciative words. Growing up, as a kid my number one love language was words of Affirmation. I would seek approval from my mom by the things I did around the house. I would clean my room thoroughly as a 13-year-old kid. I’d dust, vacuum, have everything in its place, bed made. I’d ask my mom to come into my room to look at how clean my room was. She’d walk in, look around the room and say, “that’s nice” and walk out of bedroom room. Never really recognizing my efforts for my clean room, nor the time I put in making it look nice. Words of Affirmation are really important to me. I’d get coaches that would tell me how good I was in sports in high school and college, but nothing from my parents. I was always trying to get recognition from my dad for cutting the grass, cleaning out the garage, but never heard the words I longed for, “Good job Mike, it looks great!” I was never asked to do any of the outside chores, I just did them.

If you are someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation and are not getting that in your relationship, then you need to let your spouse know that you need to hear words of appreciation for what you do. If you notice the things that are done for you, then let your spouse know how much you appreciate them. Trust me, that complement, or words of affirmation will go a long way, and be sincere when you tell them. You want to make their day? Just share how much you like and appreciate what they’ve done for you. Words are important.

Would you like to build a better marriage and don’t know how? Do you want help in knowing how to be a better communicator and help your marriage grow? Do you need help in mastering the 5 Love languages and how applying them will help you build a stronger relationship? Do you need help in figuring out what your Five love languages are? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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Show me That You Love Me! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Show me That You Love Me! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Many couples that I work with are in a loveless marriage, and it’s so sad to see. I’d have to say most individuals truly want to know that they are loved by their partner. If you have to ask your spouse if they love you, your relationship is in big trouble. We all want that feeling of being loved and appreciated by our spouse. I don’t think its all that hard to show someone that you really care and love them. Some children never saw that growing up in their homes they were raised in. So, what examples did they have growing up or they could relate to.

I love the book the “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I use it in my practice all the time. It opens the doors to a healthy and enriched marriage. In my humble opinion, the biggest reason for most divorces is the lack of communication. It boils down to a couple’s ability to share and talk about the good times in their marriage or things that need to be worked on. If you can’t talk about the issues and you let them go unresolved, then troubles will soon be an issue.

I had a couple in my office who was struggling with the way they communicated.  He liked to hear details about her day, and she was just a matter of fact, “pretty boring day and not much to share.” She would say. Now mind you, some people love details, and some don’t care and never give it a second thought.

The Five love languages helps you communicate what your needs are and your spouse’s needs. The languages are pretty simple, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. These languages are the foundations of having a better marriage. So, what are your top two languages do you think? Do you like to hear how much you are appreciated by your spouse? Do you like spending time with your partner doing fun things or just being alone together? Maybe, you like getting gifts from your spouse, no matter what they are? Do you like to do things for your spouse without being asked, or do you like having things done for you? Do you like to be touched, holding hands, snuggling, neck massages? This doesn’t always have to be in an intimate way.

These five love languages cover most of the ways you can show your spouse that you love them. It takes little effort to do any of these, it just takes your willingness to make it happen. We have to make time for our spouse, they have to be number one on your list, not your best friend, not your job, not your pet, not even your kids. Your spouse is your top priority.

Next week we will be looking at Words of affirmation, words that uplift and encourage your spouse.

Would you like to build a better marriage and don’t know how? Do you want help in knowing how to be a better communicator and help your marriage grow? Do you need help in mastering the 5 Love languages and how applying them will help you build a stronger relationship? Do you need help in figuring out what your Five love languages are? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

This week, we will conclude the series on “You Can’t Run Forever, Trust me.” Many of you send me emails on what kind of articles you’d like me to write about and if you have some idea’s letting me know. Thank you for being faithful followers.

Deak with the issue at hand and don’t run away!

So, Dr Mike what if I go to the person I’ve hurt and have avoided for days, months or even years and they want nothing to do with me? My word of advice is this; at least you tried. That’s why I suggest, write a letter, email, or a phone call even better yet, is in person if at all possible. If the person is deceased, or you can’t locate them and you have tried all avenues in locating them (sincerely and honestly tried) then write them a long letter, after reading it, destroy it. I would consider the matter closed. You’ve done what you needed to do. It’s time for you to move on and live your life, no more running away or avoiding people.

You are not alone in running away from life’s problems, we all have done it, you, me, our family, and our friends. Just think how many wonderful things you’ve missed out on by avoiding the people we love, all kinds of events, maybe weddings, family gatherings like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, funerals, graduations. There is no reason for this. Make it happen, reconnect with those you love and admire.

I say the hardest part in making reconnections is the worry “what will they say and think of me.” I liken this to my feelings about shots or IV’s, many of you know, I hate needles with a passion. When going in for surgery, I don’t dread the surgery itself, and I am fearful of the IV I get to prep me for surgery. I get anxious for days ahead of my surgery date, just over an IV. That’s the same feeling many get before they meet with someone they have been running away from, the IV effect…

Now, there are some of you who want nothing to do with someone you are running away from, and there is a good reason for it. If you have been verbally, physically or sexually abused, then I get it and so do the rest of us. Then you need to stay away from those kinds of people. It’s best to just leave it alone. I don’t want you to stir up any trouble for yourself. Hopefully, you have gotten help from a counselor in dealing with those memories of your past.

I can think of several entertainers who have run away from abusive relationships, and Tina Turner is the one that sticks in my mind. She endured beatings, death threats, verbal abuse on stage and at home. She finally had enough and ran away. She had good reasons to run from this type of man.

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

This week, this article is loaded with tips that can help you find a way to deal with those people you avoid on purpose. There will be people and situations you find yourself in and you just want to run away and hide from those people. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another!

Running away from people who you need to face is not the right way to deal with the problem!

I loaned a friend of mine a wood splitter, and he said he needed it for the weekend. I waited for him to return it, he never called or would return my phone calls to him. After three weeks, I decided to stop by and pick it up, he wasn’t home and neither was my log splitter, that afternoon I saw him driving by at the grocery store, I waved at him, he turned his head to look away. He was avoiding me, I turned around and followed him home. His truck was in the driveway, but not my friend. I knocked on the door, and his wife answered and said that her husband wasn’t feeling well and was in bed. I told her I would wait outside and that we needed to talk. I figured that she must have told her husband that I was outside waiting for him and he’d better talk to me. He came out after several minutes and started to make excuses as to why he hadn’t returned my log splitter. I found out that he was renting it out to some of his friends. He and his wife needed some money as she was laid off from work. We talked and I said, “it would have been so much easier on both of us if he was upfront in needing money.” He agreed, I said, “avoiding me made things hard on both of us.” I let him use my log splitter to rent out and help them through a rough spot.

If you think about it, I’m sure he was embarrassed on several levels about the log splitter. Being vulnerable about sharing your financial woes to a friend can be hard, plus abusing someone’s trust in equipment they borrowed from you and then renting it out would be embarrassing in itself. It’s so much better just to be upfront and let people know you’re hurting and need their help. I think what made me angry was, he was avoiding me, and he was not returning my phone calls. Do you think I handled this matter in the right way?

Running away from people to avoid conflict is wrong in so, many ways. When you do that, you add by making matters worse for yourself and with the other person. That’s why I encourage you to deal with it right away, instead of letting it slide by. The sooner you deal with the feeling of running away the better, go to that individual and make things right. It’s the only way to give you peace of mind. Here are my tips for those of you who feel like running away and avoiding people and why doing that, will not solve your problems.

  • It is just a matter of time before the lies you’ve been telling yourself will catch up with you.
  • You cannot bury the truth, someone, someday, somehow, what you have done to hurt others will come to light.
  • Running away is not the answer; you can’t outrun your feelings with the heavy emotional baggage you carry.
  • Owning up to what is making you run and dealing with it, will give you the freedom of letting go.
  • Are you afraid of making things right and putting the pain you caused others behind you? Well, we all are when we go to the people to say we’re sorry and ask for forgiveness. Trust me on this!

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

So, what keeps us from facing the hurts that we have inside us and don’t want to face? There are many reasons, and here are a few. I think this list includes pride, embarrassment, resentment, anger, shyness, nervousness, bitterness, and many more. I’m sure you could add several more names to this list that is holding you back from facing issues and has caused you to run away like an Olympic long-distance runner. Do you think it’s time to stop running away from your problems and deal with them? If running away from people and situations is keeping you awake at night, then take care of it?

Running away or walking away is not always the answer; trust me!

Some people are good at hiding their feelings from friends and family, but they can’t hide it from themselves, and that’s what really counts. You may be good at concealing deep down hurts, but the one person that it affects is you! You have to live with your feelings and your past. For some of you, that can be scary. There is hope for you, and you don’t have to live with “running away” from your problems any longer. There is hope for you, and for many of you, it’s a lifeline of hope and grace.

If you have hurt someone or acted out of anger and can’t face that individual, the time is now to face that person and do the right thing. If an apology is needed, do it, if you need to make things right, make it happen. Having peace of mind is well worth the effort. Believe it or not, you will feel so much better. Trying to avoid the people you hurt is not worth the embarrassment or resentment you are causing others. Life is to short to keep hiding and avoiding family members, friends and co-workers. Set yourself free from worrying about running into the people you’ve wounded. I guarantee you will run into them at one time or another.

I will be honest with you, and there will be reasons why some people will not accept your sincere efforts in making things right. Some folks are just plain bitter, nothing you could do would make things better. Still try and ask for forgiveness in a letter or phone call. I would try it once, and if they reach out to you and want to talk, be gracious and meet with them. Don’t make excuses for your behavior; accept your responsibility in what you did, own up to it. You will feel so much better when you do.

Next week, I will give you some tips that will help you face and defeat problems that have you running away from them.

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

How many of you can honestly admit that you have serious problems in your life, and you keep running away from them? Do these issues keep popping up at the most inappropriate times? It may be someone who knows you and brings up your past and they remind you of something you did to them or other people. Maybe after hearing from this person your memory bank starts to rewind then replay a series of painful things you’ve done to someone, it might be through songs, smells or someone that looks like a person in your past that you hurt and avoid. If you think about it, are you being haunted by your past? Isn’t it about time you quit running away and deal with whatever is consuming your thoughts and just be done with it? For your peace of mind, I’d say better work on it now and not procrastinate!

Running away from problems, will not work!

If you keep running away from people, how can you fix the problems you may have caused. If allowed to grow in your mind, it will almost become impossible to remove. It will always be there, whether real or imagined if you don’t face up to why you are running away. It will sneak up on you at every turn in your life if you don’t deal with running away from people or situations. I know some people who just can’t give it up, and live with running away from their problems as a pattern. I think we all have done that at one point in our life. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it certainly creates big problems for us.

I can remember looking back when I was in my teens; it was a time of uncertainty in my life, and I’m sure for you as well. There was the time that we shy; clueless kids would say and do things that would make parents scratch their heads. One such time was when I had asked my dad for a loan to buy a car. He listened while I shared with him that I sure could use a Corvette for my first car. I was seventeen at the time and never had any experience driving a sports car, but I sure needed a Corvette. He looked at me with “are you kidding me” eyes and said, you don’t need a car like that. I gave him all the good reasons why I needed such a car. I argued with great persuasion and authority which went nowhere. I told him I would work four jobs after school and on weekends. He was right, I didn’t need a Corvette. I would have liked a car like that, and he saw the big picture that I didn’t, it was not practical, and too expensive. I told my friends, I think I could convince my dad to help me buy a Corvette. I even convinced myself he was going to help. When I heard the “sorry, son no way” I was too embarrassed to tell my friends my dad said no. I avoided them as long as I could. I realized that I had to face them and I did, it wasn’t all that bad, but still embarrassing and hard to live down, in my own eyes. By avoiding them, I made it worse for myself.

So, next week, I will continue this article on running away from people and situations you have caused or have been a part of.

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment or call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

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The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

Putting others and friends ahead of your spouse is a deal-breaker. Believe it not, this is a big problem today. Many marriage partners have brothers and sisters who rate more than their spouse does. I have seen it with many of my clients, and I have done it as well, without knowing it. In my younger years, I grew up with really close friends and neglected those I’ve dated. I thought she get over it, and she didn’t. We didn’t last very long in that relationship. Many husband’s and wives’ have this to deal with within a close family or friends they grew up with. Keep your spouse number one in your life, do not put anyone ahead of him or her. Many husbands and wives feel abandoned and left out, that is a hopeless feeling for your partner. Sometimes you marry into a close nit family, and there is a close bonding between parents and siblings. Just make sure that your spouse is included in some of the activities you do with family and friends.

Build your emotional intimacy for a strong relationship, you’ll be glad you did!

The lack of emotional intimacy is another one on the list of reasons for divorce, how many of us crave a great sit-down talk with no interruptions and talk about anything that comes to mind? I love those kinds of talks. This, my friend, creates a wonderful bond of emotional intimacy. If a relationship is based on physical intimacy, it will wear off, emotional is where the connection is at. Getting into someone’s mind and learning about how they think and feel, is fuel for the soul. That will generate a lasting love and it goes along with great forms of communication. It binds the couple like no other way. Have you longed to ask your spouse how they feel about your relationship and how to make it stronger? Maybe you want to ask them how they feel about growing older with you. I bet there are a lot of questions you like to ask and get to know your spouse at a deeper level. Well, the only way to do that is at the emotional intimacy level, not always in the bedroom. Set up a time to talk at a deeper level, maybe outside by a lake, or on a walk. How about by the fireplace with your favorite wine or coffee? Just set the place and time and enjoy your spending time together! Try it, you’ll be happy you did!

If you don’t have date nights and spend time by yourself, this is not a good way to build and grow your marriage. Plan some fun dates, surprise your spouse with an evening they will remember for a long time. Spending time by yourself on a routine basis shows that there is no connection between you and your spouse. This will only cause your spouse to think you don’t want to spend any time with them. Try to call ahead and let them know your thinking of them and you want to take them out on a date. I’m sure they’d love it. Maybe you have to be the one to make this happen, it’s not really that hard, just do it. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

Today’s article addresses some of the issues and why marriages break down, if you want to save your failing marriage, start learning the warning signs.

Start paying attention to your spouse, boy this one is one of those irritating mostly for women, it seems like guys just don’t get it. A husband comes home from work, ignores the kids, and walks over to the TV and turns it on and starts watching TV. He pays no attention to his wife or kids. So, her thoughts are, honey, why not just say hi and ask how my day was! Even a simple acknowledgement of his wife would help the evening go better. When spouses feel neglected there is a potential problem in the making, and that is loneliness.

Loneliness can be a big stressor in marriage

Many spouses will stray if they continue to feel this way, they feel alone and left out. Many times, children often defuse this problem but not forever. Once the kids are at school or out of the house for college or living on their own, problems will begin to happen. When you come home from work or errands, let your wife/husband know your home and say Hi, I’m home, how was your day, what can I do to help around the home? Or you can call from work and ask if they need anything from the grocery store, then pick up a small token of your love, flowers, a card, or even a favorite treat they enjoy. Stay connected with your partner and let them know how much you love them and want them in your life. This goes a long way to feeling important and connected.

The lack of spontaneity hurts a lot of marriages. Many marriages get dull or boring after a while. When you dated your spouse, you probably did a lot of fun dates without any plans, just a spur of the moment, knee jerk, fun things to do. Men are pretty creative in this part of the relationship. I bet many of you women, have some fond memories of a surprise date experience and still to this day look back with a smile on your face. Plan some fun things to do, plan ahead and make sure you both have a great time. I had a client who surprised his wife with a boat ride on a mountain lake, he had wine, cheese, flowers and music playing as they sat and reminisced about the many good years they had together. This was a healing moment for the wife as she spoke of the fun things they did together in the past. He made it a reality for her. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

In todays article I believe that “The lack of communication in marriages today is a major reason for divorces.” Dr. Mike Brooks.

I have some suggestions for those of you who want to have a great marriage, (Work on it daily!) Please read and learn from these articles and how they can prevent divorce. Just being a spectator in your marriage will not work!

Lack of communication is #1 issue in marriages

Let’s look at the lack of communication and how that can destroy your marriage, and any relationship for that matter! More often than not spouses seem to think that their better half can read their minds and know what to say and do. I have heard this over and over in my office several times. Here is a classic example. Wife says to husband, “Honey did you put gas in my car?” Why, no I didn’t, why do you ask? “You always do and I was just reminding you that I need gas in my car.” I’m sure many of you can give an example of the spouse knowing what’s going on in your mind. I’ve done it as I’m sure many of you have. This is one of the ways we don’t communicate with each other. I tell my clients, talk about everything that you feel you should talk about in your marriage. Things don’t get better by ignoring a growing problem, do they? Of course not, nor should you expect them to fix themselves without the input put from you or your spouse. My feeling is this, if you have something that just gnawing at you, speak up and talk about it. I firmly believe that lack of communication is the number one reason for divorce. It doesn’t have to be that way, but it is.

Well, Dr. Mike, my wife and I start talking about our problems, but we seem to get into a heated shouting match, what about that? Great question! If you have a plan on what you want to talk about, stick with the plan. Where couples start to get angry and fight is when they get off topic and start to bunny trail and all heck breaks loose. Just stay on point and look at each other’s point of view. You don’t always have to be right; you can bend a little and compromise with each other. That’s not so bad is it? You don’t always have to be right either. Listen to what is being said and then address the issue. Here’s what will hinder good and honest communication:

  • You always have to be right
  • You always have to get the last word in
  • You don’t listen to what is being said, you are forming a response and not hearing anything about the problem.
  • You blame your spouse for your problems
  • You play the victim card trying to change the subject
  • You simply avoid talking with your spouse

The art of listening and speaking is not difficult, you just have to be respectful and considerate when talking or shall we say communicating with each other. My number one rule is, don’t interrupt when the other is speaking. Listen well to what is being said, and don’t jump to conclusions, which by the way is pretty easy to do. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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