Unexplained Behaviors Explained? (3)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week, I want to break down the four personalities (in colors) for you, so we have a foundation to work with. The other three color personalities summarized in colors are Blue, Yellow, and White. The Red personality is based on power. There are healthy and unhealthy traits to those that are considered Red. Here are a few of Red’s complex personality traits.

  • They are extremely active and highly productive
  • They are visionaries
  • They can be insensitive and selfish
  • They can be demanding and critical
  • Insecure
  • Must be right all the time
  • Competitive and bold
  • Tenacious and taxing
  • Assertive and determined
  • Disagreeable
  • Resourceful and self-reliant
  • Relentless and impatient
  • Calculating and manipulative
  • Lacks intimacy in a relationship

Do you know of anyone who has these traits, maybe you, a friend, a co-worker, even a family member? Wouldn’t you like to figure out how to live, or work, with the person who may be a red Colorcode personality? I’m sure you would. My goal is to get you to see how Reds think, what makes them act the way they do, and why!

Reds can be easily angered and more often it’s the unhealthy Reds who have road-rage.

Reds have a way of making things happen in the business world. They are power wielders, they live on facts and figures. You need to present issues logically to them. When speaking with a red, you should be direct, brief, and specific. When speaking with a red, articulate your feelings clearly, don’t beat around the bush. Support their leadership instincts and correct decisions. If you learn how to work with them, life will be so much easier for you.

Reds are the most difficult to work with and live without of all the colors. I have many of my clients who are married to a red personality, and many of the marriages have ended in divorce. The unhealthy red personalities lack real communication and often try to browbeat spouses into submission by personal attacks on a spouse’s character. The guilt an unhealthy red uses on partners, family members, and co-workers can be unrelenting at times.

The Colorcode designed by Taylor Hartman is Unlike other personality tests, The Color Code not only identifies what you do but why you do it, allowing you to gain much deeper and more useful insights into what makes you and those around you tick. Each of the four colors: Red (power), Blue (intimacy), Yellow (fun), and White (peace), stands for a collection of traits, strengths, and limitations. You can have one dominant color with traces of the three other colors in your colorcode personality. If you would like to take the free colorcode test and see what your primary color is, you can do so by going to colorcode.com click on the free test; once you take it, read what color your primary color is. The book is “The People Code” by Taylor Hartman, a great read and really gets into how the colors interact with each other. I highly recommend that you get this book.

Dr. Mike is a certified colorcode trainer and can help with people’s personality issues at home or the office. Give him a call, and he can go into greater detail on how to use the colorcode in your home or the workplace. Call him at 303.880.9878

Next week we will continue with this series “Unexplained Behaviors Explained.”

Do you feel frustrated with living or working with someone who is an unhealthy Red? Do you need help in building up the intimacy in your relationship? Is your spouse, friend, co-worker demanding and critical of you, and you want it to stop? Do you want help in managing your anger towards someone who is an unhealthy Red? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom (if you want to have a Zoom meeting with Dr. Mike, send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike is having Zoom classes on The Colorcode. If you’re interested in attending this class, it’s on Thursday from 5:00 to 6:00 PM. You’ll need to send him your email address to get a link for the Zoom class.

Other Zoom classes coming up: How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

 

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Unexplained Behaviors Explained? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Unexplained Behaviors Explained? (2)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

Have you ever wondered why someone, maybe a family member, a friend, even a co-worker, treats you so badly?  I certainly have, their behavior puzzles me and leaves me wondering why are some of these people so angry, defensive, mad, while other people we know are joking around when something just serious just happened. Then you have those who are so sensitive and serious, while others will not argue or fight and will avoid conflicts with you at all costs.

Hopefully, this article will make you want to do something about the people who make you feel miserable, worthless, and not valued. How would you like to know the hidden secrets in dealing with these people and having a good relationship with them? It can happen; you just have to learn what people’s motives are, what drives them to do the things they do. In my Counseling and coaching practice, I see many people struggling with relationships and, more often than not, are frustrated, tired, and just want to understand why people act the way they do.

I have a cousin of mine that I’ve known for several years. He’s had his quirks that I didn’t understand these past several years, and now I see them as his issues and not mine. What I do see is the insensitive ways he reacts to others who struggle with emotional pain. It seems like he doesn’t care what others are going through and gives harsh advice, and is very critical. I know him well, and he does have a good heart. People who know him would probably say that he always has to be right and will argue and will not back down. I’ve seen him manipulate others to get his way. He is always in control, never realizing his control cripples others, and they avoid him at all costs. I could detail this type of personality, and I will later on in this article.

The Colorcode designed by Taylor Hartman is Unlike other personality tests, The Color Code not only identifies what you do but why you do it, allowing you to gain much deeper and more useful insights into what makes you and those around you tick. Each of the four colors: Red, Blue, Yellow, and White, stands for a collection of traits, strengths, and limitations. You can have one dominant color with traces of the three other colors in your colorcode personality. If you would like to take the free colorcode test and see what your primary color is, you can do so by going to colorcode.com click on the free test; once you take it, read what color your primary color is. The book is “The People Code” by Taylor Hartman, a great read and really gets into how the colors interact with each other. I highly recommend that you get this book.

Dr. Mike is a certified colorcode trainer and can help with people’s personality issues at home or in the office. Give him a call, and he can go into greater detail on how to use the colorcode in your home or the workplace. Call him at 303.880.9878

Next week we will continue with this series “Unexplained Behaviors Explained.”

Do you feel frustrated with living or working with someone who is an unhealthy Red? Do you need help in building up the intimacy in your relationship? Is your spouse, friend, co-worker demanding and critical of you, and you want it to stop? Do you want help in managing your anger towards someone who is an unhealthy Red? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom (if you want to have a Zoom meeting with Dr. Mike, send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike is having Zoom classes on The Colorcode. If you’re interested in attending this class, it’s on Thursday from 5:00 to 6:00 PM. You’ll need to send him your email address to get a link for the Zoom class.

Other Zoom classes coming up: How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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Unexplained Behaviors Explained? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Unexplained Behaviors Explained? (1)  By Dr. Michael Brooks

June 1994 Denton, Texas. My Saturday morning started hot and sunny in the great state of Texas. That afternoon I was working at a men’s event at North Texas State University stadium. I had just met with Tom Landry, former head coach of the Dallas Cowboys, for a few minutes in one of the stadium offices. Looking back, I have to say life was good, exciting, and I had many aspirations of an exciting future ahead of me. Little did I know that my life would change forever in just a matter of minutes. After my meeting with coach Landry, I was asked to go outside and look at the incoming storm that suddenly appeared on the horizon. The clouds were dark green and ugly black. This was going to be a Texas storm that would change my life and many others forever.

This storm hit with all its fury with large hail, lightning, high winds, while men ran for their lives throughout the stadium. The stage was full of musicians, the band, and motivational speakers just before the storm hit. I saw them running for cover too.

I was asked by one of the men in leadership to get the men under the stadium as quickly as possible, where at least it offered some protection from the hail and lightning. The mass confusion from the storm with the hail hitting people and lightning flashing everywhere scared people; they had no clue where to go. I yelled as loud as I could at the mass of men, “GET BACK UNDER THE STADIUM.” Many heard me and headed to the safe area to wait out the storm. I felt that I was blessed to get out alive; it was that bad of a storm.

I look back and wonder how many men listened to me while in panic? How many decided to do their own thing and could have been seriously injured or even hit by lightning and killed? I saw good people helping others, and I saw people who were angry about being told what to do. Honestly, I’m the kind of guy who rather carry out orders than give them. In meetings later that week, following the “storm from hell” incident, you could see the power brokers at work. They demanded that they be heard and why things went haywire and blamed others for what happened. I learned a lot about myself after this happened, and you will see why the colorcode reveals people’s actions and motives before and after the fact. I watch people in a different light now as a counselor and coach. The colorcode will help you to see people differently as well. I saw people at the meetings that were angry (Red) at others. Some used their humor and wanted to be funny (yellow), then you had those who avoided conflict and didn’t want to argue (white) and those who blamed themselves for what happened (blue). You will learn how the colorcode can help you with the other colors and how to deal with different kinds of people.

The Colorcode designed by Taylor Hartman is Unlike other personality tests, The Color Code not only identifies what you do but why you do it, allowing you to gain much deeper and more useful insights into what makes you and those around you tick. Each of the four colors: Red, Blue, Yellow, and White, stands for a collection of traits, strengths, and limitations. You can have one dominant color with traces of the three other colors in your colorcode personality. If you would like to take the free colorcode test and see what your primary color is, you can do so by going to colorcode.com click on the free test; once you take it, read what color your primary color is. The book is “The People Code” by Taylor Hartman, a great read and really gets into how the colors interact with each other. I highly recommend that you get this book.

Dr. Mike is a certified colorcode trainer and can help with people’s personality issues at home or the office. Give him a call, and he can go into greater detail on how to use the colorcode in your home or the workplace. Call him at 303.880.9878

Next week we will continue with this series “Unexplained Behaviors Explained.”

Do you feel frustrated with living or working with someone who has an unhealthy personality? Do you need help in building up the intimacy in your relationship? Is your spouse, friend, co-worker demanding and critical of you, and you want it to stop? Do you want help in managing your anger towards someone who is an unhealthy Red? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom (if you want to have a Zoom meeting with Dr. Mike, send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike is having Zoom classes on The Colorcode. If you’re interested in attending this class, it’s on Thursday from 5:00 to 6:00 PM. You’ll need to send him your email address to get a link for the Zoom class.

Other Zoom classes coming up: How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls You! (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Have you ever given much thought to the reasons why you get angry? We all get upset at times when someone irritates us, or we don’t get our way for some reason or another. What is the core of our anger? Why do we let our anger get the best of us? I hope that we have uncovered ways that you can release the anger that builds inside you, and you have tools to deal with it.

Getting angry can cost you in many ways!

 

What causes you to get angry? Think about the people who have made you angry in the past? What did they do, or didn’t do that got you upset? Was it words or actions that set you off? We all have to deal with anger; it’s just how we deal with it that people see. For example, I know many people hate waiting in line. Yesterday, I was waiting in line at the bank drive-up window. There were two cars ahead of me as I was in a hurry for a meeting. The bank teller was taking her time serving the bank customers in front of me. Honestly, the two cars ahead of me took 10 minutes to help. I was in a hurry, what could I have done differently and not get impatient or angry? Pretty easy solution, just come back after my errands or pick another time of the day. So, instead of focusing on what makes you angry, try to fix the problem, anger will not resolve the issue, it’ll only make it worse.

Once you have dealt with your anger, now what? It’s time to let go of your anger and get on with life. If you know of the source that caused you to get angry, forgive, and put it behind you. There is no reason to dwell on the people that cause you to get angry. Yes, it will take time to let it go, but life will be much better for you if you are not holding a grudge.

Know when you need to get help; If anger is eating you up, you just can’t let it go, then get help. Anger can consume and destroy you, your family, friends, and co-workers. I have seen it happen to many people that I know and counsel. If your anger causes you to do things you regret or hurt those around you, then you need to talk to someone who can help you.

In closing, remember angry people are not very approachable, seldom have friends who can tolerate them, and will make your life a living hell if you allow them to. My thought is this, if they make your life uncomfortable, either you distant yourself from them or end, end the relationship. If you want peace and tranquility, then take that step that will make it happen.

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

 

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When Your Anger Controls You! (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Here are a few of my helpful tips when dealing with your anger or with someone that you know. We all face being angry at times, and these tips will help guide you through the minefields of your personal anger or those you know who have anger issues.

Taste it before you say it; if you think your words are going to be insulting, mean, nasty, and you’ll be sorry for saying something you ought not, then don’t say it. Stop right there and say nothing, take some time to cool down. Walk away and give yourself some time to figure out what happened and why it did. Give others the benefit of the doubt, don’t assume someone has it out for you.

When your angry, go for a walk or a bike ride; when I feel like I’m getting angry, I go for a long walk. I use this time to think about the reasons why I am getting angry. I look for reasons as to why this person upset me and how I should have reacted to it. Could I have handled it in a better way or say something differently, probably?

Step back from the situation; After I realize that I may be getting upset, I will step back and evaluate my reasons for getting angry. Basically, it’s a self-time out for me. I will not say anything in response to a personal attack, although I will bite my lip and walk away, at least I will not get myself into trouble. So, if your feeling like you’re going to get out of control, just walk away from the person or situation.

After time passes by and you have calmed down; then address what is making you angry. Walkthroughoutbursts,  the steps as to why and how you got upset and angry. Could you have walked away sooner? Were you reacting to someone’s tone of voice or facial expressions? Did you have a chip on your shoulder before you got angry? These are the kinds of questions you have to ask yourself and plan accordingly to prevent an angry outburst.

Give yourself a timeout; I suggest that if someone gets you really upset, then take a timeout and walk away for a certain period of time. I’ve known clients who have taken a permanent timeout from a toxic family member or a relationship. They ended all ties with this individual and moved on with their life. You can do this as well, believe me, its hard at first, but maybe this is what you need to give you some peace of mind.

I had a friend of twenty plus years who seemed to have a grudge against life itself. I noticed that this friend would get upset and angry at the slightest irritation. He threatened people with lawsuits, would get into people’s faces, treat others with disrespect, during the time I knew him he attacked me, and finally, I had enough of it. I called him out on one of his attacks on me, and my friend made it very clear he has the right to attack whomever he felt challenged him on his anger. I decided right then and there that I had to drop him as a friend. I have had no regrets and have a peace of mind since I did that!

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls You! (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are you struggling with anger issues? Today Dr. Mike will cover different kinds of anger that people face. A question for Dr. Mike, are there different kinds of anger? Yes, to answer your question: several experts have published contradicting lists of anger types, but some widely accepted forms of anger include:

  • Chronic anger, which is prolonged, can impact the immune system and be the cause of other mental disorders
  • Passive anger, which doesn’t always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify
  • Overwhelmed anger, which is caused by life demands that are too much for an individual to cope with
  • Self-inflicted anger, which is directed toward the self and may be caused by feelings of guilt
  • Judgmental anger, which is directed toward others and may come with feelings of resentment
  • Volatile anger, which involves sometimes-spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger

If you look at this list, do you know of some in your family or friend contacts who have one of these forms of anger? I’m sure you do. The common one that I deal with is Judgmental anger. These people are the people who judge, act as a jury, then become the executioner, and are extremely opinionated. Once they have judged you, seldom do they admit they could be wrong about the person they are judging. Case in point, there was a man sharing his story about a personal experience he had at work. Then suddenly a man in the group interrupted this guy, saying he was wrong, he said that this man had no clue what he was talking about. I sat there, waiting to see what would happen next! The man sharing the story started to explain to this man the events in greater detail, and the guy judging this man became even angrier. I later found out that this individual had a real big problem in judging several people in this group. I’ve learned that I will not tolerate these kinds of people in my personal life.

Anger can be signs of serious issues

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. Let’s face it, who wants to hang around someone that is judgemental all the time?

If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls you! (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

So, what should you do when you get angry at somebody??? Well, here are some steps that can help you deal with your anger. Case in point: I had one client who would physically show signs of anger; he would shake and tremble, you could see him clench his jaws, the veins would pop out on his forehead. That was a warning sign that he was about to explode. His wife would get terrified and would have to leave the house; there was no reasoning with him. The physiological signs of someone getting angry and not noticeable to you or me, they get a headache, upset stomach, their heart rate starts to climb, they begin to sweat, their face gets red and hot, they get so worked up that they may get dizzy. I’ve learned that some people that become angry can’t be reasoned with, suddenly they become the victim and blame others for their anger issues.

Anger issues can destroy your family, cost you your job, and even end your marriage!

OK, Dr. Mike, I’ve got a question for you, is anger a choice, or is it an auto-response? In my heart of hearts, I believe it is a choice. Yes, we all get angry at times, its how we deal with it that matters. I know some people who just walk away from the situation and take some time and think about their next reaction. If you’re dwelling on your anger, then you really have no control over how your mind controls you. The many people I work with know a saying that I share with them about their anger, and this applies to people who struggle with their anger. “Does your brain control you, or do you control your brain.” Meaning, if your brain controls you, then your behavior will be spiteful, nasty, words that will cut to the core, and no remorse will be shown whatsoever on your part! When this happens, usually, the relationship is over and done with.

So, let’s say you’re the one with anger issues, how can I deal with my own personal anger problems. You may say, “I want to stop being so angry.” I have some thoughts on this and will share those with you. If you’ve played football you probably have heard your college or high school football coach say when an athlete gets injured, “try walking it off. I like to suggest walking is another means of dealing with your anger. Remember this, Walk off your anger, go for a walk, a long walk, and think about why your upset and what part do you own in your anger towards someone? And stop playing the victim card! Take some responsibility for your anger and nastiness. If you can walk, or go to the gym, then do it, exercise is a great way to release stress.

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls You! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Over the years, I have known several people, including some friends of mine, that have serious anger issues. I’ve never been an angry person, nor has anybody in my family growing up! I was wondering how even to start this article today with so many people angry with the COVID-19 pandemic and with the civil unrest in our country. People are angry if you don’t wear a mask, people are upset if you do wear a mask. We have a lot of angry people walking around our streets, in stores, in homes. I am seeing angry people everywhere, where I go grocery shopping, at the parks that I walk at, people in general are angry and upset.

An angry man driving a vehicle is expressing his road rage. Can you control your anger?

This past weekend I had a friend of mine who got upset and angry that a woman he was interested in and going to meet, and hike with, called and canceled on him. I explained that there was an unforeseen medical emergency for this woman. His immediate response was, “Boy, she has a lot of excuses for not showing up to events.” I looked at him disbelief and explained again about this woman’s son was rushed to the ER overnight. He didn’t get it; it was all about him, not this other person’s emergency, and he stewed about it all day. He was upset at this individual and angry about her not showing up.

I’m sure we all have had those individuals in our family or friends that show the angry side once in a while. This sad and upsetting behavior needs to be confronted at one time or another. Honestly, I used to let people live in their anger and ignore it. Sure, it bothered me, and I knew that hanging around someone that has an anger problem isn’t healthy for them or for me. I decided to do something about it. I have set boundaries for myself, if someone has anger issues and they don’t deal with their anger after I speak with them, and they continue being angry, I am done with them. My life has been so much more at peace since I’ve done that.

So what causes anger issues in each one of us? There are several reasons that cause anger triggers in people: These include personal problems, stress, family problems, financial issues, unmet expectations in a relationship, or at work. Maybe someone cancels a planned event that you were going to attend. Rush hour traffic, car accidents, perhaps some people feel threatened by others or intimidated by their social status. There are several reasons why anger can be an issue for some people.

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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Zoom Meeting on Co-dependency June 26th, how to deal with it! Check time zone for your meeting time!

Just a reminder that we will be having our Zoom meeting tomorrow on Friday, June 26th at 2:00 Mountain time, 1:00 PM West coast time, 3:00 Central time, and 4:00 East Coast time.

Here is the link to get into the meeting.

Meeting ID: 823 2194 0460
Password: 507459

Here are some of the questions we will cover tomorrow:

  1. Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs?
  2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
  3. Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
  4. Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
  5. Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
  6. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

For the “enabler.”

  1. How did you become afraid of conflict?

  2. What has caused you to be uncomfortable with receiving?

  3. When did you begin to find your self-esteem in being a giver? Or to make sacrifices constantly for others? Do you like control too much?

  4. Does your partner’s problem tend to make you feel superior to him or her? If so, what has made that important to feel?

  5. What is keeping you in the relationship? Are you afraid of leaving, and why?

We will continue where we left off last week on Co-dependant relationships- this could be a spouse, family member, or a friend. The discussion has been lively and great perspectives are shared. If you’re codependent and feel the need to have someone in your life, join us as we work through codependent relationships. Rana Justice and I will moderate this group meeting.

We also want to look at our fall meetings, to try to figure out what dates and times work for you. Topics discussed will include Boundaries, The 5 Love Languages, and the Colorcode series. I’ll go more into the descriptions in a few weeks. If you have questions or want to address a specific topic, please let me know and send it to me. I will keep it confidential who sent the info and question. This is a great group, and if you know of others who may benefit from this group, please invite them.

Look forward to seeing you tomorrow,

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Living in Fear (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Living in Fear (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week, we will start addressing ways to deal with your fears. Give this some thought as you write down your fears. So, I would like to give you some homework. List all your fears that you struggle with. Sit down with a pen and paper and start making that list. Once you’ve done that, then prioritize your list. Number #1 is the highest on your list, then go on to numbers 2, 3, 4. 5, and so on.

After you have decided what number #1 is, then list the reasons why you fear that particular issue. Write down all the reasons and take your time in doing this. The more information you can provide, the better in dealing with your specific fear. What are the pros and cons of this fear? How has it hindered you in the way you live or deal with people? Once you see the cons of your fears, then you will start looking at the ways to deal with it. It certainly will open the doors to your healing and moving on past the fears you struggle with.

What is considered a good and healthy fear? There are many of these when you consider the good reasons for fear. When a mother or dad scold a child getting too near a hot burner on the stove, yes, that’s a healthy fear. When the child actually touches the hot burner for themselves and learns not to do that even after the warning from a parent, you can bet that child probably will not touch that burner ever again.

What is considered a bad and unhealthy fear? Any fear that prevents you from living your life. Fears that keep you away from people, places, and situations. Maybe someone who loves and cares about you may say something to you about your avoidance of people or places. People can see through us when we are fearful and don’t deal with the fears that cripple us. They can see how we react to our fears and how our fears control us. There are some legitimate fears people face, the fear of flying, the fear of needles, the fear of the dentist. I have, in some ways, had a fear of these things in the past, but overcame them because of necessity. I had to get a root canal, oh, yes, you and I have heard how painful they were and how the tears would roll down your cheeks during the procedure, and afterward, the pain would keep you up all night! I didn’t care what I heard, my tooth was killing me, and I didn’t want to deal with the pain any longer. With great trepidation, I called and made an appointment with the dentist. As I sat in the dentist’s chair, I explained to him my great fear of needles, and of a bad experience as a kid with an army dentist. He assured me that I wouldn’t feel much of the needle, and honestly, I didn’t. The procedure went smoothly and was over with before I knew it. Let’s face it, I was forced to deal with my fear of needles and dentists “Jonny” on the spot! Now, I honestly don’t stress over seeing the dentist or getting shots. This could have been a real health crisis if I didn’t make that call. Bad teeth can be an issue for the heart. So, if your fears keep you from seeking medical attention, then that’s not good. Deal with the problem, get help, and get peace!

In next week’s article, I’ll have some suggestions on how I dealt with my own fears and how I moved on to live a life without the fears that were holding me back. I’ll provide some valuable tips that you can use in dealing with your fears!

Do you feel frustrated with the fears that hold you down and prevent you from living? Do you want help in dealing with your fears and moving on with your life? Do you need to identify your fears and how to manage them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and dating. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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