The Narcissist “The Devil’s In The Details” (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Narcissist “The Devil’s In The Details.”(3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Ok, I have a good idea on what to expect from a narcissist but how do you interact (communicate) with them? I find myself wanting to go toe to toe with them and just unload on them with all the attacks, and underhanded things they do to me. How do I deal with that?

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Here are some guidelines when trying to interact with a narcissist. Remember when talking with these folks you are just trying to keep calmness with them. It’s difficult to please them and certainly not always enjoyable spending time in their presence.

• Don’t expect too much from a narcissist, they demand much and give little. All they want from you is to be understanding and obedient to their needs.
• Many times a narcissist will expect you to read their minds and understand where they are coming from. So listen to what they say and be ready to repeat it back to them to reinforce your position in what you heard. Don’t argue with them, it only fuels their enjoyment of putting their victims down.
• Complement them when an occasion occurs. Don’t be syrupy sweet with them. Meaning don’t overdo your complement. They will see through this and will challenge you on the spot. Make it sincere and genuine. Don’t complement all the time…short and sweet will work.
• Avoid arguing with a narcissist, you will never be able to present your side and get a compromise from them. Remember it only adds fuel to the fire and they enjoy a constant fight.
• If you keep falling into the trap of wanting to fight and argue then back away and just keep quiet. Keep the peace in the house. Keep your boundaries and insist that you will not argue. Narcissists will want to argue with you through texting, phone, and e-mails. Avoid these temptations. Believe me you will be so glad that you are not falling into the trap that narcissists use against you.

The key here is to wait things out be patient, avoid the unnecessary disagreements, and avoid being sucked in by a narcissists, anger, selfishness, self- centeredness and the attacks directed at you.

Now on the other hand if you need to have a serious talk with a narcissist and it turns out to be an argument here are some tips in dealing with those situations. Be consistent in how you talk with a narcissist.

Do you need help in dealing with a narcissist in your life and want to figure out what your next steps are? Are you afraid of the person you are married to and need advice in how to talk to them? Are you seeking help for your spouse who may be a narcissist? You may ask yourself how do I talk to my spouse who is a narcissist? If you answered yes to any of these questions and would like some help contact Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

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The Narcissist “The Devil’s In The Details.” (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Narcissist “The Devil’s In The Details.”(2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

So here are some questions that many of you will ask yourself if you have a narcissist in your life. How do I deal with them? How do I talk with them? I am married to one and need help in staying married, what can I do?

masquerade mask

I want address some of your questions, but know this from the get go that dealing with a narcissist is going to be very difficult. If you’re looking to be treated favorably, be treated with respect and dignity, with understanding and compassion, forget it!. If you think that you will be considered an equal with them or will be important to them you may want to move on with your life. If you decide to stay in the relationship you can be assured that staying with a narcissist is going to be costly in many ways. It will cost you a great deal of time and energy and possibly money to get what you want.

Here’s what you can expect if you stay in a relationship with a narcissist. Here are some of the narcissists characteristics.

Visions of grandeur, sometimes they live in another world they have created for themselves. You can see this by the things they say or do.
They exaggerate the things they have done.
They dwell on their fantasies of power, their looks, how smart they are, their accomplishments.
They believe they are special people and are adored by everyone.
• They think they deserve special attention because of who they are.
They will use people in order to get their own desires (jobs, favors, gifts).
• They believe that they are only understood by other special people other (narcissists).
• They will use you to get whatever they need to advance their agenda.
• Any relationship (friendship) with a narcissist is one strictly one sided.

Many people are unaware at first that they are dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists come off as kind and generous people. They use their charm to ensnare unknowing victims and use them until they either are confronted for their being used or no longer any value to the narcissist. Keep in mind and this is key for those of you that have a narcissist in your life that they will exploit their friends, acquaintances, and associates, while taking advantage of others to secure their own desires. Be aware of this so you’re not a victim. Keep in mind that not all of your narcissistic relationships will display some of the traits listed above.

Do you need help in dealing with a narcissist in your life and want to figure out what your next steps are? Are you afraid of the person you are married to and need advice in how to talk to them? Are you seeking help for your spouse who may be a narcissist? You may ask yourself how do I talk to my spouse who is a narcissist? If you answered yes to any of these questions and would like some help contact Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

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The Narcissist “The devil’s In The Details” (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Narcissist “The Devil’s In The Details.” (1)

Well Dr. Mike I’m about ready to go file for a divorce said the caller on the other end of the line. I can’t take it anymore, I’m finished, I’m done, it’s over! She is absolutely crazy, I can’t deal with her crazy mood swings any longer. She’s constantly wanting to fight with me and our children. She keeps telling our family and friends how wonderful she is and how everyone adores her. She’s constantly in front of the mirror admiring herself and her looks. When I confront her she tells I’m the problem and not her. She will tell me I should go work on myself and that I’m bipolar. You simply can’t reason with her. My kids want nothing to do with her. “What should I do” he asked?

Don't blame the devil for your mistakes, own them yourself!

Don’t blame the devil for your mistakes, own them yourself!

Sadly this problem is more common than most people realize. It’s a dilemma that many couples face around the globe. It’s also one issue that causes many divorces in the United States. For many the spouse in question will get a diagnosis from well meaning friends who also had partner who showed signs of narcissism or they knew somebody who supposedly was a narcissist. A narcissistic personality is pretty easy to spot if you live with them. They leave you wondering if you’re losing your mind or that you’re the one with the problem.

So the big question is, what should you do if you think you are married to a narcissist? What are your options when married to one or dating one. I get asked that question from time to time. Not everyone you have issues with or problems in your relationship is a narcissist. Let’s be totally clear on that. Some folks just don’t get along and that’s the way it is. Relationships can be difficult to maintain if there is dishonesty, trust issues, adultery, poor communication skills, etc.

With that said let’s look at the definition of narcissist   1. Excessive preoccupation with or admiration of oneself. 2. A personality disorder characterized by self-preoccupation, need for admiration, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.

I had a client of mine who told me that a friend of his was so into himself. I really mean, he was always telling me how good looking he was. How women thought he was the best looking man they met. I would listen to him tell these stories whenever his ego needed a self boosting treatment. His self-inflated ego was just getting to be too much for me. My client dreaded seeing him drive up his driveway. He found projects that needed his immediate attention that sat around for years just to avoid spending time with him. When he would show up unannounced it created a new bad habit for my client and that was clock watching. He would watch the second hand on the clock just to kill time as he spoke.

His friend could be very cold hearted towards someone who wouldn’t agree with him on any level. He would just write them off. He has done that to so many of his lifelong friends. Many of his friends would avoid his phone calls or any invitation to have lunch or dinner with him. Yet he never saw this as his problem but theirs.

Do you need help in dealing with a narcissist in your life and want to figure out what your next steps are? Are you afraid of the person you are married to and need advice in how to talk to them? Are you seeking help for your spouse who may be a narcissist? You may ask yourself how do I talk to my spouse who is a narcissist? If you answered yes to any of these questions and would like some help contact Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555

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What’s The Best Chapter In Your Life (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

What’s The Best Chapter In Your Life (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I was walking out to the chicken coop to take care of our livestock when I heard the radio in the coop playing a county song. I just caught a portion of it “what’s the best chapter in your book.” Then I thought wow, that gives me an idea on how to look at our lives through the chapters in our lives. We have a rich plethora of life’s greatest memories stashed away in the back of our minds and don’t even know it. What are some of those life’s experiences hidden in our minds? Thought provoking isn’t it?

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I hear many people share some of their great experiences in all kinds of settings. The smiles, laughter and maybe some embarrassment it may bring. I see the giggles and grins, them staring off into space maybe reliving a memory they haven’t thought about in years. Just the thought of looking back at the best chapter in your life can bring healing to so many. I know I have done it when I have missed my parents. I think about our travels as a family in Germany or the vacations we used to take up to Minnesota. It’s a great mind getaway when I think about the great chapters in my life.

I can remember when I spoke with a friend of mine who shared some wonderful insights and memories of his wife who passed several years earlier. As he shared with me, he would look off into the distance and recount some of the things they did together. As he wiped his eyes thinking about her he said out loud, “Boy, I haven’t thought about our first meeting in years.” He shared how they met in high school at a football game. He said it was love at first sight, he knew that she was the one for him. For most of us, relationships are the number one “best chapters in our Life.”

For some of you, you’re still waiting for that best chapter in your life to happen. For others they can’t seem to find anything good about their best chapter in their lives and focus on the negatives. For others there are so many great experiences that you can’t seem to find one that would top that list.

I want to encourage you that if you are struggling with finding a great chapter in your life, do something about it. Start getting involved in other people’s lives. Try to make a difference in yours by being a part of their lives. Start creating good memories by getting out of the house or finding new healthy friends. The key to being happy with your life or situation is moving forward. If you’re expecting people to make you happy, don’t bother. It will never happen. You have to be the architect to create the happiness in your own life.

Do you have regrets looking back and would like to mend fences with a family member or friend and need help in making that happen?? Would you like to set a new course for your life and need help? If you answered yes to any of these questions please Dr. Mike a call he can help you make changes in your life.

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

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When Women Say They Want A Divorce (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Women Say They Want A Divorce (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks
Today we are wrapping up the “When Women Say They Want A Divorce.” I hope this has helped you women and men. Keep in mind that most women if they could have that great marriage with their husbands they would. They wouldn’t walk away but fight to save it if they knew there was hope. But wives need to see changes in bad behavior from their husbands and want to feel loved and needed. Let’s move on with the rest of the article.

Physical or mental abuse, physical abuse is the one area that causes me great concern. There is no reason for anyone to hit each other. If that happens you contact your local police or sheriff s office immediately. Get out of the situation and get help for yourself.

Same as mental abuse..threatening you in any way is wrong and needs to be reported. If you have kids in the home you don’t want them to see or hear the abuse you’re getting from your husband. If your children are getting physically or verbally abused then by all means protect your children from this type of behavior. There are places that can help you in your area. Contact your local authorities for help immediately.

Keeping good communication with your spouse will keep your relationship strong!

Keeping good communication with your spouse will keep your relationship strong!

Loss of love, women need to know that they are loved, needed and wanted in the marriage relationship. If you men are not providing that no wonder women feel the loss of love and want out of the marriage. Husbands, I use the book “The 5 Love Languages” to help men reestablish a love your wife needs in her marriage to you. If you men need help in learning how to be a healthy and loving man for your wife, call me. I work with many men in this area. You can restore that loving feeling in your marriage if you’re willing to work on it. Wives have your man call me as well if you feel he needs help in this area.

Not meeting family obligations, this one I deal with more and more each year. When a woman feels she is the sole provider for the family while you (the husband) claim to be looking for work or looking for the perfect job there is gonna be issues to deal with. I had a woman client whose new husband of 8 months claimed that he was looking for work while she was at a full time job. One day she came home early to find him playing games on his play station. She confronted him and he said he wasn’t all that interested in finding work because the job market was bad and he was waiting for his old job to open up. She pleaded her case asking him to get any job because they weren’t bringing in enough money to pay their bills, and it was putting her under a lot of stress. She felt like she was raising an adult kid. She warned him about his dishonesty and threatened to leave him. He did nothing and they are now divorced. Men if you’re looking for that perfect job don’t wait…get a job now. Wait on tables, flip burgers, try to take of the stress off your wife and get a job. Finances is an area women worry about if you don’t do anything about it, you may get served papers.

In closing when a women says she is considering or wanting a divorce. I can promise you that most if not all women have contemplated getting a divorce over a period of time. Of all the women that I have worked with over the years I have never had one say “I am doing this on the spur of the moment.”

Men if you can head off a divorce by all means do it. Most women don’t want a divorce they just need to be loved, respected, desired and wanted. If you can do these things and add building better communication you can repair your relationship. If you’re sitting around and waiting for things to get better without your participation…good luck you’ll be another statistic in the rolls of divorced men.

Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call at 303.456.0555! You’ll be glad you did!

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When Women Say They Want A Divorce (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Women Say They Want A Divorce (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We will continue to go over the reasons why women file for divorce and their reasons why. As painful as it is sometimes men they don’t get it until the wife finally files for divorce. Some women can walk it back while others have thrown in the towel and want to move on with their lives. Guys it’s up to you to start working on fixing your marriage. Don’t wait till it’s too late.

Be proactive in your divorce, or else!

Learn to see the signs when your wife is hurting…

Personality problems, these are difficult to overcome and can be very frustrating to say the least. I had a client who dated his wife for a short period of time and got married after a few months. They didn’t spend all that much time dating and one day decided to get married. After a few months the wife started acting strangely. She started accusing her new husband of cheating on her. He found her sitting on the sidewalk rocking back and forth mumbling to herself. Her behavior was getting more bizarre each month. He was wondering if he was losing his mind from the way she acted towards him. She refused to get help and would confide in her unhealthy friends seeking their advice. She filed for divorce and met a man while separated from her husband and eventually married him. Had this couple dated for a period of time this marriage probably would have never happened. So, yes personality problems are a big concern.

Lack of communication is one of the biggest marriage breakers. It’s beyond me why some couples just don’t communicate. You live in the same house yet talking seems to be so difficult. Why is that? There are many reasons for that and we can go over a few. The major one is fear of being run down by your spouse. I had a client who couldn’t speak to her husband. He would interrupt, argue with what she was saying. He would brow beat her into his way of thinking. So she shut down and refused to be a victim of his abuse any longer.

I know a lot of couples who need help in communication these days. Don’t avoid difficult subjects to talk about. Don’t wait for the perfect time to talk make it happen now. Don’t argue or fight when speaking to each other. If it starts getting loud, back off! Take time to think about what you have to talk about! Don’t have text or have the TV or Radio on. Pay attention to each other and look each other in the eyes when you speak to each other. If you need help in communication contact me, I can help you!

Next week we will wrap up the reasons why women file for divorce. Feel free to call me if I can help you or you have any questions.

Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

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When Women Say They Want A Divorce (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

These are a few of the reasons why women file for divorce and I’m sure the list could be a 100 reasons if we wanted to list them all.

Let’s look at infidelity on the woman’s part. First let me say right off the bat there is no reason infidelity should happen in your marriage. End your marriage if you must and move on. The women I have spoken to say that their husbands lack interest in physical intimacy drove them into the arms of another man. So what happens is the wife looks for men that will provide what her physical needs are. While having these affairs many of these women filed for divorce. Why? Because they thought they found that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence only to find they were being used for sex.

frustrated couple

Many of the women felt betrayed by their lovers thinking they had found the right man to replace the husband. Only to discover that once the men had their way with them were dumped and cast aside. I say, try everything you can to avoid having an affair. Get counseling or coaching do everything to avoid losing your self respect, your family, and your spouse. I can’t tell you how many women have sat across the table sharing what a stupid mistake they made by cheating on their husbands. Most wished it never happened. The reputation they made for themselves and their immediate family and circle of friends was an albatross around their neck for years.

Incompatible relationships. If a husband gets involved with his wife and kid’s lives this shows a serious commitment to the relationship and this would greatly help most of the incompatible issues in the marriage. Yes, I know that all marriages are not going to work out I get that. Build on the things that brought you together as a couple in the beginning. Husbands this is your assignment. Sit down and have an honest discussion with your wife and ask her what you need to do to be a better husband. Listen to what she has to say.

Don’t interrupt or correct her when she is speaking to you. If she is talking divorce before this talk I’m asking you to do, you better listen carefully and take note when you sit down and talk. If you have been given verbal notice (or warning) you better act on it. The next notice will be from a process server giving you divorce papers.

Drinking/drug use. So many marriages have ended because of alcohol or drug abuse. If your wife is telling you she’s done with your relationship because of your drinking or drug use…you need to get help immediately. If you don’t the marriage is most likely is over. Many women will stay in a marriage where alcohol abuse is involved and most likely for the kids sake.

Grew apart, this is a problem for many men. Many men had their own interests prior before getting married and once they say “I Do” will put those interests on the back burner. Only to have them resurface and exclude their wife from sharing the things they enjoy. Men you need to be involved with your wife on all levels. Do things together, enjoy the fun things which brought you two together. When a wife says that your growing apart and she thinks she wants to move on, you’re the only one who can repair this problem. If you do nothing and continue to do your own thing you may be getting served papers.

Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

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When Women Say They Want A divorce (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will be going over the reasons why women file for divorce. Some of the answers may surprise you. In fact you may have even thought about divorce and never followed through with it and wonder why. These next several weeks will hopefully be an eye opener for men who don’t get it.

Did you know that women file two-thirds of all divorce cases in the US. A more astounding statistic is when the couple are college-educated, divorces initiated by the wife is a whopping 90-percent! When women decide to file for a divorce it has been well thought out and considered for some time. For many women it’s been in the back of their minds for several years. I think most women would say they didn’t want to file for divorce but for the sake of keeping their sanity needed to pursue a divorce. If men will not change their bad behaviors something has to give and usually it’s their marriage.

It's OK to ask for help, that's what I'm here for!

It’s OK to ask for help, that’s what we’re here for!

Look at the roles of today’s women. They are the care takers of the children, they take care of the household. Nurturing their children while being housekeeper and running errands and taking the kids to school and social events all the while working a job. Sometimes I think men just don’t get it and the importance of the wives contributions to the family.
Many women struggle today with the roles they have to deal with-in their family.

First of all they are a wife, mother, and work. Yet many if not most women place impossible demands on themselves as a wife and mother. Why? Probably because of overload and lack of help from the husband. There are many reasons why women file for divorce and most can be prevented if the husband became more involved on several levels in the marriage relationship. So let’s look at some of the reasons why women file for divorce.
According to a study done at Pennsylvania State University the following is the top 10 reasons why women divorce:

1. Infidelity
2. Incompatible
3. Drinking/Drug Use
4. Grew Apart
5. Personality problems
6. Lack of communication
7. Physical or mental abuse
8. Loss of love
9. Not meeting family obligations
10. Employment problems

Next week we will be going over some of the reasons why women file for divorce. You may have some of your own reasons why you filed or are thinking on filing. Regardless of the reasons, I hope the wives of the men they are thinking about filing papers share the articles with their husbands. If we can save one marriage from the divorce court then I’ve done my job!

Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Coaching Services. Dr. Mike and Dawne’s services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike 303.456.0555 or Dawne 406.580.0857 over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike or Dawne a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks and Dawne Baird
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Mike’s Cell: 303.880.9878 or Dawne’s Cell 406.580.0857

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When Women Say They Want A Divorce (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When Women Say They Want A Divorce (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Janice sat across from me in my office in tears. I want a divorce she said, I can’t stand my husband. He doesn’t do anything to make me feel loved or appreciated. We have a roommate marriage and that’s all. And you know what else Dr. Mike he doesn’t buy me gifts, doesn’t hold my hand. He will not even look at me! I don’t know what else to do, this has been going on for two years! I’m done, I’m just done and want my marriage over with.

Knowing how to deal with emotional lows is key to surving

Knowing how to deal with emotional lows is key to surviving

Another client shared that she was heartbroken about her marriage. Her husband spent hours away on his personal trips. He would leave her alone for days at a time. Claiming he needed alone time while baking in the sun and enjoying the hot springs in Colorado. She walked on egg shells while he was at home. She was the bread winner while he spent money frivolously. She admitted that there was no communication whatsoever. She tried to be a part of his life and he felt no need to include her. “What else can I do. I have given it my all,” she said! “I am filing for a divorce.”

Chris said she asked to have a sit down talk with her husband and talk about ways to improve their marriage which was in crisis. Chris said her husband looked at her and said that he was going to watch his football game and after that was going to play pool with some of his friends. Her husband asked if they could they talk tomorrow? She responded by saying “no, they needed to talk NOW!” Sorry honey but I made these plans last week with my friends. He gave her a peck on the cheek and headed out the door. She went to her night stand and got the paper work to file for divorce and laid on her bed as she wept while filling it out.

I hear these kind of stories from a great deal of women I counsel and coach with. Men you better pay attention when your wife says she is thinking about or wants a divorce. I’m telling you she has thought about divorcing you for some time. Most women just don’t wake up one morning and decide “hey, I am going to get a divorce.” There are many reasons that will drive women to start contemplating and filing for a divorce. And most likely it’s about men in their lives.

Over the next several weeks we will be going over the reasons why women file for divorce and how men can help prevent a divorce if they are willing to fight hard to save their marriages. So it’s up to guys to start doing the right things.

Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more chance? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

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What Are Your Auto-responders? (7) By Dr. Michael Brooks

What are your Auto-responders? (7)

I worked for a big name package delivery company. I unloaded semi’s early in the morning. There was a part time manager who was disliked by all. He would walk along the loading dock and verbally attack all the dock workers just to get a rise out of them. He seemed to enjoy that and laughed when others responded back in kind. I was a college student at the time and wanted nothing to do with him. I learned at an early age on how to use auto responders. I simply avoided conflict.

Keeping good communication with your spouse will keep your relationship strong!

Keeping good communication with your spouse will keep your relationship strong!

One day he picked on the wrong person who didn’t seem to think he was very funny. They went nose to nose neither backing down while the entire loading dock crew watched the exchange. Then fists started to fly and a fight broke out. The part time manager got his clock cleaned and the part time loader got fired.

How should have the part time loader handled this situation with his manager? What auto responder could he have used? Remember that auto responders are supposed to keep you out of trouble. They will if you use them. So the big question is this, what should the part time loader have done to prevent an altercation with his boss?

First step would have been not to respond to any criticism. Knowing that this part time manager harassed all the dock workers should have been a red flag. The dock worker should have just minded his own business, done his job and ignored this part time manager. That should have been his auto responder. Instead he did verbal battle with the part time manager which turned into a fight and he lost his job over his behavior. If you keep your nose clean most likely you can avoid conflicts in the workplace. Trouble makers don’t get very far in the business world and most companies don’t keep them.

Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of mouthy comebacks. People have been murdered, injured, made lifetime enemies…just by responding with snarky or harmful comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.

Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a snarky remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you can call Dr. Mike and get help. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!

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