You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

This week, this article is loaded with tips that can help you find a way to deal with those people you avoid on purpose. There will be people and situations you find yourself in and you just want to run away and hide from those people. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another!

Running away from people who you need to face is not the right way to deal with the problem!

I loaned a friend of mine a wood splitter, and he said he needed it for the weekend. I waited for him to return it, he never called or would return my phone calls to him. After three weeks, I decided to stop by and pick it up, he wasn’t home and neither was my log splitter, that afternoon I saw him driving by at the grocery store, I waved at him, he turned his head to look away. He was avoiding me, I turned around and followed him home. His truck was in the driveway, but not my friend. I knocked on the door, and his wife answered and said that her husband wasn’t feeling well and was in bed. I told her I would wait outside and that we needed to talk. I figured that she must have told her husband that I was outside waiting for him and he’d better talk to me. He came out after several minutes and started to make excuses as to why he hadn’t returned my log splitter. I found out that he was renting it out to some of his friends. He and his wife needed some money as she was laid off from work. We talked and I said, “it would have been so much easier on both of us if he was upfront in needing money.” He agreed, I said, “avoiding me made things hard on both of us.” I let him use my log splitter to rent out and help them through a rough spot.

If you think about it, I’m sure he was embarrassed on several levels about the log splitter. Being vulnerable about sharing your financial woes to a friend can be hard, plus abusing someone’s trust in equipment they borrowed from you and then renting it out would be embarrassing in itself. It’s so much better just to be upfront and let people know you’re hurting and need their help. I think what made me angry was, he was avoiding me, and he was not returning my phone calls. Do you think I handled this matter in the right way?

Running away from people to avoid conflict is wrong in so, many ways. When you do that, you add by making matters worse for yourself and with the other person. That’s why I encourage you to deal with it right away, instead of letting it slide by. The sooner you deal with the feeling of running away the better, go to that individual and make things right. It’s the only way to give you peace of mind. Here are my tips for those of you who feel like running away and avoiding people and why doing that, will not solve your problems.

  • It is just a matter of time before the lies you’ve been telling yourself will catch up with you.
  • You cannot bury the truth, someone, someday, somehow, what you have done to hurt others will come to light.
  • Running away is not the answer; you can’t outrun your feelings with the heavy emotional baggage you carry.
  • Owning up to what is making you run and dealing with it, will give you the freedom of letting go.
  • Are you afraid of making things right and putting the pain you caused others behind you? Well, we all are when we go to the people to say we’re sorry and ask for forgiveness. Trust me on this!

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

So, what keeps us from facing the hurts that we have inside us and don’t want to face? There are many reasons, and here are a few. I think this list includes pride, embarrassment, resentment, anger, shyness, nervousness, bitterness, and many more. I’m sure you could add several more names to this list that is holding you back from facing issues and has caused you to run away like an Olympic long-distance runner. Do you think it’s time to stop running away from your problems and deal with them? If running away from people and situations is keeping you awake at night, then take care of it?

Running away or walking away is not always the answer; trust me!

Some people are good at hiding their feelings from friends and family, but they can’t hide it from themselves, and that’s what really counts. You may be good at concealing deep down hurts, but the one person that it affects is you! You have to live with your feelings and your past. For some of you, that can be scary. There is hope for you, and you don’t have to live with “running away” from your problems any longer. There is hope for you, and for many of you, it’s a lifeline of hope and grace.

If you have hurt someone or acted out of anger and can’t face that individual, the time is now to face that person and do the right thing. If an apology is needed, do it, if you need to make things right, make it happen. Having peace of mind is well worth the effort. Believe it or not, you will feel so much better. Trying to avoid the people you hurt is not worth the embarrassment or resentment you are causing others. Life is to short to keep hiding and avoiding family members, friends and co-workers. Set yourself free from worrying about running into the people you’ve wounded. I guarantee you will run into them at one time or another.

I will be honest with you, and there will be reasons why some people will not accept your sincere efforts in making things right. Some folks are just plain bitter, nothing you could do would make things better. Still try and ask for forgiveness in a letter or phone call. I would try it once, and if they reach out to you and want to talk, be gracious and meet with them. Don’t make excuses for your behavior; accept your responsibility in what you did, own up to it. You will feel so much better when you do.

Next week, I will give you some tips that will help you face and defeat problems that have you running away from them.

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in I want to save my marriage, Life in general, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

How many of you can honestly admit that you have serious problems in your life, and you keep running away from them? Do these issues keep popping up at the most inappropriate times? It may be someone who knows you and brings up your past and they remind you of something you did to them or other people. Maybe after hearing from this person your memory bank starts to rewind then replay a series of painful things you’ve done to someone, it might be through songs, smells or someone that looks like a person in your past that you hurt and avoid. If you think about it, are you being haunted by your past? Isn’t it about time you quit running away and deal with whatever is consuming your thoughts and just be done with it? For your peace of mind, I’d say better work on it now and not procrastinate!

Running away from problems, will not work!

If you keep running away from people, how can you fix the problems you may have caused. If allowed to grow in your mind, it will almost become impossible to remove. It will always be there, whether real or imagined if you don’t face up to why you are running away. It will sneak up on you at every turn in your life if you don’t deal with running away from people or situations. I know some people who just can’t give it up, and live with running away from their problems as a pattern. I think we all have done that at one point in our life. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it certainly creates big problems for us.

I can remember looking back when I was in my teens; it was a time of uncertainty in my life, and I’m sure for you as well. There was the time that we shy; clueless kids would say and do things that would make parents scratch their heads. One such time was when I had asked my dad for a loan to buy a car. He listened while I shared with him that I sure could use a Corvette for my first car. I was seventeen at the time and never had any experience driving a sports car, but I sure needed a Corvette. He looked at me with “are you kidding me” eyes and said, you don’t need a car like that. I gave him all the good reasons why I needed such a car. I argued with great persuasion and authority which went nowhere. I told him I would work four jobs after school and on weekends. He was right, I didn’t need a Corvette. I would have liked a car like that, and he saw the big picture that I didn’t, it was not practical, and too expensive. I told my friends, I think I could convince my dad to help me buy a Corvette. I even convinced myself he was going to help. When I heard the “sorry, son no way” I was too embarrassed to tell my friends my dad said no. I avoided them as long as I could. I realized that I had to face them and I did, it wasn’t all that bad, but still embarrassing and hard to live down, in my own eyes. By avoiding them, I made it worse for myself.

So, next week, I will continue this article on running away from people and situations you have caused or have been a part of.

Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment or call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Posted in I want to save my marriage, relationships, Women in abusive relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

Putting others and friends ahead of your spouse is a deal-breaker. Believe it not, this is a big problem today. Many marriage partners have brothers and sisters who rate more than their spouse does. I have seen it with many of my clients, and I have done it as well, without knowing it. In my younger years, I grew up with really close friends and neglected those I’ve dated. I thought she get over it, and she didn’t. We didn’t last very long in that relationship. Many husband’s and wives’ have this to deal with within a close family or friends they grew up with. Keep your spouse number one in your life, do not put anyone ahead of him or her. Many husbands and wives feel abandoned and left out, that is a hopeless feeling for your partner. Sometimes you marry into a close nit family, and there is a close bonding between parents and siblings. Just make sure that your spouse is included in some of the activities you do with family and friends.

Build your emotional intimacy for a strong relationship, you’ll be glad you did!

The lack of emotional intimacy is another one on the list of reasons for divorce, how many of us crave a great sit-down talk with no interruptions and talk about anything that comes to mind? I love those kinds of talks. This, my friend, creates a wonderful bond of emotional intimacy. If a relationship is based on physical intimacy, it will wear off, emotional is where the connection is at. Getting into someone’s mind and learning about how they think and feel, is fuel for the soul. That will generate a lasting love and it goes along with great forms of communication. It binds the couple like no other way. Have you longed to ask your spouse how they feel about your relationship and how to make it stronger? Maybe you want to ask them how they feel about growing older with you. I bet there are a lot of questions you like to ask and get to know your spouse at a deeper level. Well, the only way to do that is at the emotional intimacy level, not always in the bedroom. Set up a time to talk at a deeper level, maybe outside by a lake, or on a walk. How about by the fireplace with your favorite wine or coffee? Just set the place and time and enjoy your spending time together! Try it, you’ll be happy you did!

If you don’t have date nights and spend time by yourself, this is not a good way to build and grow your marriage. Plan some fun dates, surprise your spouse with an evening they will remember for a long time. Spending time by yourself on a routine basis shows that there is no connection between you and your spouse. This will only cause your spouse to think you don’t want to spend any time with them. Try to call ahead and let them know your thinking of them and you want to take them out on a date. I’m sure they’d love it. Maybe you have to be the one to make this happen, it’s not really that hard, just do it. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in angry spouses, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (3) By Dr Michael Brooks

Today’s article addresses some of the issues and why marriages break down, if you want to save your failing marriage, start learning the warning signs.

Start paying attention to your spouse, boy this one is one of those irritating mostly for women, it seems like guys just don’t get it. A husband comes home from work, ignores the kids, and walks over to the TV and turns it on and starts watching TV. He pays no attention to his wife or kids. So, her thoughts are, honey, why not just say hi and ask how my day was! Even a simple acknowledgement of his wife would help the evening go better. When spouses feel neglected there is a potential problem in the making, and that is loneliness.

Loneliness can be a big stressor in marriage

Many spouses will stray if they continue to feel this way, they feel alone and left out. Many times, children often defuse this problem but not forever. Once the kids are at school or out of the house for college or living on their own, problems will begin to happen. When you come home from work or errands, let your wife/husband know your home and say Hi, I’m home, how was your day, what can I do to help around the home? Or you can call from work and ask if they need anything from the grocery store, then pick up a small token of your love, flowers, a card, or even a favorite treat they enjoy. Stay connected with your partner and let them know how much you love them and want them in your life. This goes a long way to feeling important and connected.

The lack of spontaneity hurts a lot of marriages. Many marriages get dull or boring after a while. When you dated your spouse, you probably did a lot of fun dates without any plans, just a spur of the moment, knee jerk, fun things to do. Men are pretty creative in this part of the relationship. I bet many of you women, have some fond memories of a surprise date experience and still to this day look back with a smile on your face. Plan some fun things to do, plan ahead and make sure you both have a great time. I had a client who surprised his wife with a boat ride on a mountain lake, he had wine, cheese, flowers and music playing as they sat and reminisced about the many good years they had together. This was a healing moment for the wife as she spoke of the fun things they did together in the past. He made it a reality for her. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

In todays article I believe that “The lack of communication in marriages today is a major reason for divorces.” Dr. Mike Brooks.

I have some suggestions for those of you who want to have a great marriage, (Work on it daily!) Please read and learn from these articles and how they can prevent divorce. Just being a spectator in your marriage will not work!

Lack of communication is #1 issue in marriages

Let’s look at the lack of communication and how that can destroy your marriage, and any relationship for that matter! More often than not spouses seem to think that their better half can read their minds and know what to say and do. I have heard this over and over in my office several times. Here is a classic example. Wife says to husband, “Honey did you put gas in my car?” Why, no I didn’t, why do you ask? “You always do and I was just reminding you that I need gas in my car.” I’m sure many of you can give an example of the spouse knowing what’s going on in your mind. I’ve done it as I’m sure many of you have. This is one of the ways we don’t communicate with each other. I tell my clients, talk about everything that you feel you should talk about in your marriage. Things don’t get better by ignoring a growing problem, do they? Of course not, nor should you expect them to fix themselves without the input put from you or your spouse. My feeling is this, if you have something that just gnawing at you, speak up and talk about it. I firmly believe that lack of communication is the number one reason for divorce. It doesn’t have to be that way, but it is.

Well, Dr. Mike, my wife and I start talking about our problems, but we seem to get into a heated shouting match, what about that? Great question! If you have a plan on what you want to talk about, stick with the plan. Where couples start to get angry and fight is when they get off topic and start to bunny trail and all heck breaks loose. Just stay on point and look at each other’s point of view. You don’t always have to be right; you can bend a little and compromise with each other. That’s not so bad is it? You don’t always have to be right either. Listen to what is being said and then address the issue. Here’s what will hinder good and honest communication:

  • You always have to be right
  • You always have to get the last word in
  • You don’t listen to what is being said, you are forming a response and not hearing anything about the problem.
  • You blame your spouse for your problems
  • You play the victim card trying to change the subject
  • You simply avoid talking with your spouse

The art of listening and speaking is not difficult, you just have to be respectful and considerate when talking or shall we say communicating with each other. My number one rule is, don’t interrupt when the other is speaking. Listen well to what is being said, and don’t jump to conclusions, which by the way is pretty easy to do. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in angry spouses, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

I was watching a husband and wife argue over their crying son in a crowded restaurant. He wanted her to take him out and deal with the problem while he watched his football team on the TV. They went back and forth when she finally said “fine; we’ll talk about this when we get home!” He seemed so out of touch with the anger his wife was showing him. She walked out and never came back in; he seemed to be more interested in his football game than his family. I’d say this is more common with younger families today then it was a generation ago. Disconnect with your spouse, and you’ll surely find maritial unhappiness. I know many of you are busy with your jobs, hobbies, electronics, but your family should take a priority and be number one and not at the bottom of your list. Marriage is hard work; we all know that.

Communication and personal electronics are tearing marriages apart, manage these and you can find your marriage will become stronger!

All this man had to do is help his wife with his child, see if he needed to be changed or helped with feeding, nothing major and have a family time out enjoying being together as a family while watching his game.

So in the big picture, what do you think are some of the problems that will end a marriage? Here’s my list:

  • Lack of or no communication
  • Not paying attention to your spouse
  • Lack of spontaneity
  • Putting others ahead of your spouse
  • Lack of emotional intimacy
  • No date nights
  • Endless arguments
  • Lack of commitment
  • Lack of trust
  • No vision for the future

These are just a few of many. I’m sure you could add your own items to this list. If you want a better marriage, there must be two people coming together and figuring out how to make the marriage better! Ending a marriage seems to be the way to go these days. People just run to a lawyer and say they want out. Pretty simple, but the consequences are severe and emotionally damaging. Next week we will be covering the areas that cause divorces in an unhealthy relationship.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship and need help in getting back on track? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse who isn’t communicating with you, and you want to communicate at a deeper level? Do you want help in learning how to bring excitement in your marriage? Are you wanting to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy or not improving? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need to talk.

Dr Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in angry spouses, Divorce Coach, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Drinking the Poison Called Anger? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Drinking the Poison Called Anger? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Last week we learned that “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” So many people really believe this statement is true, that’s sad, this week we will look at the causes of anger. I’ll give you some tips on dealing with your anger and how to manage it.

What are the common causes of anger? Fear, whether real or imagined can be crippling. Fear can be a contributor for some people dealing with their anger. When someone becomes focused on fear, they lose all perspectives on reality and how to deal with everyday problems. Fear can cripple rational thinking people. They become obsessed with fear and not the solution to fixing their problems.

When you hold on to anger it will only destroy you.

Pain is another reason for anger. Pain can create its own set of problems; there is physical pain and emotional pain. I had a friend injured in a car wreck, by a hit and run driver. This wreck was severe enough to cause serious injury and he many needed surgeries. His anger was directed at the careless driver and the results of his injuries. I don’t want to go into all his surgery details, but he had several neck surgeries, hip, and low back surgeries. He was angry and for very good reasons; they caught the driver, he was arrested, jailed the following day, after three years of seeing doctors, having dozens of surgeries, going to physical therapy sessions there was light at the end of the tunnel. His day in court finally arrived, he went to court with his lawyer expecting the legal system to deal with this careless individual sternly. He thought that “I have been in so much pain, and his life was put on hold since day one of the wreck, he was going to get some payback. I suggested that he get in control of his anger and start using my tips to help him manage his anger in court.

Here are other ways you can stop feeling angry. They do work if you try them.

  • I tell my clients to go for a walk, get moving, using the walk time to cool down and think about your next steps.
  • I like listening to quiet music, nothing with a heavy beat or music that encourages violence. Listen to relaxing music.
  • I will have my clients write in their journal, what they are feeling and how to deal with the problem next time, action steps I call them. What do I do the next time I get angry!
  • If what someone said to you is truthful and it makes you angry, then make the changes you know that needs to happen. Don’t sit on the anger and wish it goes away, do something about it. Do some self-improvements in your life. Some of the criticism we get can be a motivating factor to make changes that we have avoided in the past.
  • Don’t sit around and stew over being angry; it’s not worth the energy.
  • Have that one go-to person who can talk you down and get you calm. I call this person my accountability partner.

He and his lawyer went to court and waited for their case to be heard as they sat in the courtroom, waiting, the opposing counsel asked to talk to my friend’s lawyer. He waited for several minutes wondering what was going on behind closed doors with his lawyer and the other lawyer, finally his lawyer came out and then spoke to my friend, he said that the other side wanted to settle. My friend’s anger burned inside him, he wanted to have his say in what this hit and run driver did to him physically, and emotionally and how his life was dramatically changed as a result of this wreck. His lawyer advised that they settle and the reasons why. He seethed with anger for months; his whole family was dealing with his out of control fits of anger. He was constantly yelling, screaming, cursing; no holds barred outbursts of anger! What was his family to do with his anger outbursts?

Next week, I will talk about emotional pain and how to move on from it.

Do you feel frustrated about your anger issues in the relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from your anger problems? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills, so you understand and how to avoid the anger that controls you? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because of his/her anger? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in I want to save my marriage, Life in general, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Drinking the Poison Called Anger? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Drinking the Poison Called Anger? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I received a call from a client several years ago who was at her wit’s end. She was swearing, yelling, and was crying hysterically over the phone. I waited for her to calm down to see what was going on. After a short while, she started sharing her story. Her husband of eight years was having an affair on her. She was devastated when she heard the news from the town gossip. “What am I going to do?” she asked me? I said the first thing you need to do is talk with your husband and ask him what’s going on. I am so angry she said, that it will become a shouting match. I couldn’t blame her for being angry. Can you have one of your parents there when you talk to him? She thought that was a good idea considering how she felt. Anger has a way of getting ugly real fast in bad situations.

Anger is a poison if not dealt with in the early stages, recognize the damage it can do!

I understand when people get upset or angry, they say things that they will regret; we’ve all been there. Certain situations seem to create the perfect storm for unleashing uncontrollable anger. Many murders have resulted by people having deep-seated anger issues. I’ve seen people come unhinged over the slightest irritation, that drove them into full anger mode. Have you had anyone ask you, why are you so angry? If you have, you better start looking at getting some help. Getting angry now and then happens, I get that! But when you let anger control YOU, and allow it to dominate your life, then you have a much bigger problem to deal with.

I have heard many sayings about anger; my favorite one is this:

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

There is a lot of truth to this saying, why hold on to a feeling that eventually robs you of your joy, happiness, peace, and contentment. I have seen many allow the cancer of anger to destroy their families, friendships, jobs, and steal their peace. Are you one of these people who need help?

Do you feel frustrated about your anger issues in the relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from your anger problems? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills, so you understand and how to avoid the anger that controls you? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because of his/her anger? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, Life in general, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Seasons of Darkness (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Seasons of Darkness (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week, we will conclude this weeks series article on “Seasons of Darkness.” I hope this series has helped those of you are dealing with everyday struggles of darkness in your lives. If you need to talk, please give me a call and let’s see what we can do to help you through your difficult times. I’m here to help!

I had a friend who went through an unwanted divorce, he fought it, begged for a second chance and said he would make all the necessary changes to save his marriage. He promised he’d be a new man. Well, that didn’t go well for him. She filed and got her divorce. He went into a season of darkness for several months. He was a pathetic and broken man. I spoke with him and asked him these questions, and maybe you can relate. I asked him if he still wanted to try to get back with his wife, and he responded, “More than ever.” Do you think living in a pity party will help you in any way get back with her, again? He said, “No.” Do you want to start changing the thought patterns that you’ve been stuck in? Do you want to be proactive in positive planning and get help in putting your plan together? Of course, I do, he said.

We sat down, and I went into what steps he needed to do to be reconciled with his wife. He had to get counseling or coaching to work on the things that he felt he owned in the marriage problems, thus causing her to want a divorce. I told him that this wasn’t a guarantee that she would even consider giving him a second chance, even if he made all the changes she wanted before the divorce. He still had to work on himself and make changes in his behaviors towards his ex-wife and kids. He knew he had to do that! His whole attitude changed when he realized the ball was in his court, he became more positive, and he started to come out of his funk. He was taking control of his life again; that was something he knew he gave up while he was in his seasons of darkness.

We all go through these times; it’s just a matter on how we deal with these tough times. Some people just hunker down and do nothing, while others become angry and forget that they do have options and fail to realize that! Trust me, you do have options to move out of the seasons of darkness. Here are some of my tips to help you put those dark clouds behind you;

  • Look at and identify the reasons you’re in a season of darkness.
  • What caused you to to feel this way
  • Have you forgiven the person or persons who made you feel the way you do?
  • Do you need help in getting on with your life and don’t know how?
  • Is your darkness brought on by a bad relationship? If it is, get that person out of your life. Not every relationship is supposed to work. Realize that!
  • Put together a plan with a counselor or coach, and work the plan. Have an accountability partner you can talk to.

In closing, these are just a few suggestions, I’d like you to try, they do work. Try them, you’ll see that looking at your future will give you the hope that you need and want, try to not focus on your failures. Looking back gets you nothing but troubles. Living in the present is a constant reminder of the darkness that you live in.

Do you feel frustrated about living in your seasons of darkness and need help in identifying what they are and the causes? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating their seasons of darkness with you? Do you want help in learning good coping skills during your seasons of darkness? Are you needing help in moving on with your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in I want to save my marriage, Life in general, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment