Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.

Don’t Give Up On Your Relationship Just Yet, Talk To Dr Mike Before You Do!

If you’re the spouse who wants to leave the marriage, have you sought counseling/coaching on your next steps. Have you looked at every way to save your relationship? Or are you just bailing out on your marriage because you’ve been told life is better on this side of divorce. Many people that I have worked with will tell you once you file for divorce, life is miserable, painful, and hard to get motivated. Many have regretted in divorcing and not working on their marriage. I understand that there are reasons for a legit divorce, you will not get any arguments from me. In the case of adultery, physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, pornography, and abandonment, I get it.

If you’re not happy and feel like your marriage just doesn’t have any excitement and it’s boring, not fun and you’re leaving it for those reasons, life will be miserable for you and most likely you will go from marriage to marriage always looking for something better.

Find a counselor who can help you walk through your problems and hopefully find resolutions.

Step two, the purpose of getting counseling is to help you figure out what your next steps are. Find a counselor who can help you walk through your problems and hopefully find resolutions for you. Listen well to what is being said, open your heart and dig deep to find a way to work together in finding a compromise. I like to think that a coach/counselor is not a judge, but someone who has both of your interests at heart and will work for both of you in getting answers and planning your next steps to move forward in your relationship. I will tell you, this will be hard work but well worth it in the end.

Now, let’s just say that you’ve talked to your clergy, counselor/coach and you can’t find any way that staying together is possible. You have given it your all, you’ve exhausted all your resources of time, and energy. Then it’s time to move on. If you’re the one trying to save your marriage and your spouse will not get counseling or any help for that matter, get help for yourself. Get the healing that you need for you and your kids if necessary. Move on with your life and start planning your future.

In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in angry spouses, Divorce Coach, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.

Disappointed wife not getting attention from husband, this marriage is in trouble!

Typically, when a marriage starts to fail, the one who notices that there are issues will say something about their unmet expectations in the marriage. The lack of communication, the lack of physical intimacy, avoiding doing things together, etc. If nothing happens, then nagging begins, followed by demands and wanting to be heard and that changes better happen soon. If that doesn’t take place then the distance grows between the couple. This happens over a period of time and grows in intensity when the spouse sees nothing happening.

…when the spouse who is not happy in the relationship begins to talk to their friends…

When you’re at wit’s end, then the next step happens, that’s when the spouse who is not happy in the relationship begins to talk to their friends and shares details about their bad marriage, and most likely they will get some bad advice about leaving the marriage. The issue I have with these people giving advice especially to someone having marriage problems is that they are not experienced in coaching or counseling. Most likely they have been through a divorce themselves and never received any counseling and listened to well-meaning friends who also got bad advice. This cycle continues to be a bad problem to this day. Seek help from professionals who can help you in making wise choices in your next steps.

Step one, when you’re the spouse who is wanting to work on the marriage, there are things you have to consider. Are the things you want to talk about to your spouse going to be planned out in advance by you? What are the issues, can you be calm and rational during your talk? Have you thought out what needs to be addressed and not a spontaneity moment discussion. If it’s not a well thought out talk, then you will be all over the map when trying to figure out a plan while talking with your spouse. You will walk away more frustrated than before you had your talk. When planning your talk, don’t personally attack your partner, come up with solutions you both can talk about. Ask for feedback during your talk. Always try to find a compromise that works for both of you, if you can’t then come back and try talking again at a later time or date.

In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce and what to do about it.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

 

Posted in Dr. Mike's rants, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

For those of you who have never been divorced, you’ll never experience the broken-hearted pain or anything like that going through the breakup of a marriage, wanted or unwanted. The pain and uncertainty are always looming in your head. The battles that you fight within yourself, the questioning of every step you take and the impact it will have on others is always in the back of your mind. The daily struggles emotionally and physically take their toll on the partner who is surprised by hearing their partner wanting a divorce.

I received a call from a client years ago, one late evening, he was telling me that his wife of five years wanted a divorce, just out of the blue. She said that she was done and had no desire to get any help. He begged her to go to counseling with him, she flat out “said no way!” Then she proceeded to lay into him about everything she hated about him. He wasn’t romantic, he never took her out, she needed emotional support when her mother died and he wasn’t there for her during that time she needed him. He knew she had some valid points and conceded he wasn’t meeting some of her needs. He asked her to forgive him and to please go to counseling with him, she still refused to go. Then he shared with me he had no clue that there were serious marriage problems, she never talked about her concerns and what was bothering her for five years. Sadly this marriage ended in Divorce. She checked out of the marriage without ever getting help.

There are many reasons people seek a divorce: adultery, physical and emotional abuse…

So, in order to address these issue we need to look at how the process of divorce begins in the early stages. There are many reasons people seek a divorce: adultery, physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, pornography, abandonment, roommate status, financial irresponsibility, and many other reasons. In next weeks article we will continue to examine why people want a divorce.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, relationships, Women in abusive relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (Conclusion) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (Conclusion) By Dr. Michael Brooks

In conclusion on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse, many have to ask themselves “have I given up on the marriage” mentality. If you’re in a hopeless marriage, you need to ask yourself several questions. Have I given it my all? Have you sought counseling, coaching advice? Have you talked to your Pastor, Priest or Rabbi about your marriage problems? Many marriages can be saved, although, with a lot of hard work, it can be done.

Ending your marriage is the last step for many individuals, it takes a lot of thought, lots of counseling and grit to get through the process. It’s not easy for sure. There is heartbreak, regrets, shoulda, woulda, coulda, what if’s that will race through your mind. If you’re divorcing because of an affair, I would take a deep hard look at that. Especially if children are involved. Running away from your bad marriage without getting help will haunt you probably for a lifetime. I see many people that look back and wonder why they divorced their spouse. They beat themselves up for breaking up the family.

Case in point, a client of mine several years back had the life of luxury, the big house, fancy car, big bank account, and a husband that did very well in his job. They had two children and were very connected socially. She had it all. Then a young man caught her fancy, and she started fooling around on her husband. I saw the damage that this did to my clients family. The kids were totally screwed up from an absent mother and a single dad. She moved out with this man and never looked back. I saw her a few years later with a different guy. We spoke briefly, and I’ll never forget her words, I wish I never cheated on my husband, I had everything a wife, mother, and woman could want. I lost everything she said. Once the trust is gone, it’s hard to recover that. Keep trust in your relationship by being open with each other.

In closing, it’s best to recognize the struggles you face and face them head-on, don’t avoid them. So many couples need help, and it’s ok to ask for counseling. I often wonder how many marriages could be saved, if they both agreed to get help?

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

 

Posted in I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (7) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (7) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Number six on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is Trusting each other. How many of you have heard stories about friends of yours or even family members having affairs that ended in a divorce? We all have, and what happens to couples when the trust factor is lost, everything shuts down. The marriage is in deep trouble, most likely without counseling the marriage will end. The family breaks apart, and the kids are the lost souls in the big picture. Trust is the foundation for solid and healthy relationships; if that is lacking, then you can imagine what’s in store for the future.

Trust in marriage is key for survival, learn to communicate

Trust starts with open and honest communication. If there are issues that you may be uncomfortable with then address the problem. For example, if your spouse seems to be working several evenings a week and has late hours, that needs to be talked about by you. Don’t let it upset you and avoiding talking about it will not solve anything, sit down and speak your mind, get it out in the open. I see many individuals in my office and speak to a lot of people that have many issues with trusting their spouse. What are these trust issues that men and women deal with, well, here’s my bullet point list on trust issues in many marriages?

  • Working late hours
  • Always on their cell phone and can be heard whispering to someone
  • Unaccounted expenses at restaurants and hotels
  • Buying new clothes, new undergarments
  • Starts wearing aftershave or perfume
  • Unplanned weekend errands that normally never occurred before
  • Increased alcohol consumption

These are just a few, but beware of these changes. Trust can be earned back if lost, but it’s a long road ahead of you. So, if there are trust issues, deal with them immediately, don’t wait and do nothing. These feelings will make you ill until they are dealt with.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (6) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Martial Discourse (6) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Number five on my list of Seven Sins of Martial Discourse is lack of Financial Accountability. This is a big one for most couples. Men and women, for the most part, differ on this. I think most women are geared for watching the finances carefully and spending wisely. Many divorces have been attributed to financial woes, and it happens at all levels of  poor and rich marriages. You have couples that overspend and buy things that they in no way can afford. I had a client who needed a car, he and his wife went to a dealership and looked at all kinds of vehicles. They didn’t go in with a budget; they looked for something that only the Jones could afford. He told me that they looked at an SUV valued at $75,000. He said she really wanted it for show only to make the neighbors envious. He was emotionally sick when she picked it out. The salesman went to see if they would qualify for the SUV. He told me that they waited in his office for what seemed over 30 minutes. The guy came back and said the payments would be over $750 a month. There was no way they could get a loan for that amount and they couldn’t afford it. The salesman could see the panic in my client’s eyes and helped explain that this type of SUV would be expensive to repair if they had any mechanical issues. She was so reckless with their finances; they ended up getting divorced.

Make a budget together, plan for expenses and unknown expenses.

Make a budget together, plan for expenses and unknown expenses. It takes both of you to make this work, at least be in the know of where your money is going and what bills have to be paid. I suggest starting a savings account. Just put something into it every paycheck you receive. Have a TLA (Talk, Listen and Action) meeting monthly. Go over your finances, projected expenses, savings and you’ll see that this cuts down on arguments. Communicate well on your finances; it will save you grief down the road.

Do you trust your spouse, do you talk openly about the needs and desire that you may have personally and in your marriage. Trust is a big factor in keeping your marriage healthy and in good shape.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Number four on my list of Seven Sins of Martial Discourse is Lack of intimacy, ahhh yes, this is a very sensitive subject for both men and women. It amazes me how many couples have lost interest in having an intimate relationship. There are reasons why couples can’t connect in this area they’re: medical, emotional, and physical reasons. As people age, they tend to lose interest in physical intimacy. The hormones aren’t what they used to be. If you have a physical condition that prevents you from having a physical relationship, then you have to have other ways to connect. I suggest that you connect on the emotional level. Have long talks, share your thoughts and dreams. Watch movies, take trips together. There is so much to do and not necessarily centered around the physical aspect of your relationship. In many of the counseling sessions that I do, I find it’s split right down the middle for men and women who want physical intimacy and those who do not.

Couples connect both physically and emotionally. Which are you? If you have physical limitations, go see your medical doctor. Usually, they can help you with medications and may have other idea’s. ED is a common issue for men and seeing a medical doctor can help you. This is a problem that is easily treatable. This is an issue (physical intimacy) that cannot be forced on your spouse. Many affairs are started by a spouse who hasn’t had a spouse interested in sex. I caution you to seek counseling immediately if this is becoming an issue, don’t avoid talking about this. Avoid having an affair; it will destroy your relationship and family. Remember this; women are fulfilled emotionally first, then the physical intimacy comes next. For a man, he connects physically first and then emotionally.

Next week I will be talking about fiscal irresponsibility and how that can fracture your relationship. Accountability is key to keeping a marriage safe and secure.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Number three on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is Lack of listening. This plays into my third problem with today’s marriages, the lack of listening to your spouse as they talk with you. Just like Ricky Ricardo in I love Lucy, he ignored her and kept reading the newspaper. A good listener will listen and then respond; a poor listener will not listen but think of ways to respond and not hear what is being said. If you’re the one who wants to set up a talk and make sure your spouse is listening, then have a plan. Don’t overload your spouse at one time with a heavy talk. Break down what you want to talk about in sections. Have specific questions and go over a few of them at a time. Get the input that you need and move on to your other questions. The key here is to know when to stop and listen and then move on.

Learn how to read the person that you’re talking to, know their body language and watch their eyes. They will tell you a lot. If you’re talking to someone and they seem to be reading a script, while looking up in space, they’re not listening to you, all they are doing is trying to figure out what they want to say. These kind of people are very poor at listening and communicating. If someone that you’re talking to has their arms folded and they are rocking side to side as they stand or shaking their foot while sitting, they have tuned you out. Ask them if they are done listening. If they say yes, then no more talking, and end the conversation.

Next week I’ll talk about the lack of intimacy and how it creates big problems in the marriage. Some people need physical touch to feel loved.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

By most standards, a marriage that has poor communication will eventually die on the vine. I believe that communication is the number one marriage killer. Without it, your marriage will never grow.

Learn to talk with each other, avoiding hard to talk isssues in your marriage can destroy it.

Number two on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is lack of communication. The key to a successful marriage is the ability to communicate with each other. Yes, Sometimes it can be very difficult to talk to each other. I think the lack of communication can be very damaging in a marriage. I see it more often than not, yet it still is a big problem in today’s relationships. Instead of talking with each other, younger couples feel that texting is the new norm in communicating with each other. Learn the value of face to face communication. It’s wonderful and helps in seeing how your spouse reacts to what you say. In a text, you’re not sure what the text communicates, some people will take what you said the wrong way, and they get upset. I have had numerous couples share this in our counseling sessions. Keep texting with your spouse to a minimum, and focus on actually talking face to face. Communication comes in many forms, and if you know how to read people as you talk, you will be a much better communicator. For example, if your spouse is having a difficult time in expressing their feelings with you and you know how to read that they are frustrated in sharing, a good communicator will be able to read into what they are saying and ask questions to clear up any confusion. Remember that men and women communicate on different levels, women, for the most part, are very detailed and can express their needs, wants and desires very well. Whereas men, on the other hand, use fewer words and that their spouses (tongue in cheek) and figure that their spouse’s can read their minds and know what a man’s needs are. Again, ladies, this is the way some men think. I have had several of these kinds of guys in my office. They don’t communicate very well, and some even admit it without the prompting of their wives during a coaching or counseling session.

I’m sure you have seen in some TV shows, and the example I use is the “I Love Lucy” show. Lucy walks into the kitchen and Ricky is at the breakfast table reading the paper. Lucy asks Ricky a question and for each question he asks, he always responds without taking his eyes off the paper says “yes, dear.” It drove her nuts; she knew he wasn’t listening. In today’s modern world that very scenario can be played out when spouses are glued to their cell phones. You can see it in any restaurant; no one is talking to each other. Couples that are going out to dinner rarely talk with each another, there staring at their cell phones all the time. This is a big problem with younger couples, just observe people eating a restaurant, it will amaze you what you see.

Are you a good listener, do you pay attention to what your spouse is saying or what’s on their mind, well, next week I will share my thoughts on that and how to improve your communication skills.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Martial Discourse (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

So, here we go, read and see if you’re struggling with number one on my list of discourse. Number one on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is, don’t make assumptions about your spouse and go with your feelings, yes your feelings are important but so is your spouses. But feelings can be dead wrong and create unwanted anger. I recommend that you sit down and listen to each other’s thoughts and in a civil manner talk about them. Get the facts before fighting. If you think about it, how can you present your issues while yelling, screaming, and being belligerent to your partner? All this does is create a hostile environment, and nothing will get accomplished or settled. Have your list and talk about each one, be detailed and present your points logically. Don’t raise your voice and get up and walk away when your spouse doesn’t understand or agree with what you’re saying. Be specific and listen well to the feedback that you receive from your spouse. Don’t jump to conclusions and think logically to what you are hearing and understanding.

I had a couple that I was working with and both were miles apart on how to raise their children. The husband growing up had a mom and dad that yelled at his brothers and sister. The wife, on the other hand, had parents who sat the kids down and calmly talked things out. You can imagine that neither parent was going change the way the dealt with their own kids and this caused some big-time issues in their marriage. I suggested that they sit down and plan on how they would talk to the kids. This was agreed upon in my office, but was it followed at home? Both reverted to using the styles they learned growing up. They assumed that the other would be in agreement with the style they grew up with. The wife thought the husband would use her way and not his. So make no assumptions and talk things over before agreeing to move forward with your plans.

Next week I will be talking about poor communication and how that can be a problem in your marriage.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Posted in Divorce Coach, I want to save my marriage, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment