The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks
I can remember when I was 5 years old getting into big trouble with my parents. I found my mom’s scissors and started to cut my own hair. There was several bald spots and hair all over the bathroom sink. After cutting my hair I found a tube of red lipstick in the bathroom and decided that I wanted to look like a clown and made big red circles on my cheeks and chin. I then added the red nose for good measure. I was supposed to be watched by my older brother Bob who decided he wanted to go to a friend’s house. My mom and dad walked in the door and my mom screamed in horror when she saw me. “Where’s your older brother she asked?” I looked at her and said “I don’t know.” My dad was trying to keep a straight face, but looked sternly at me. My mom walked back into the living room and reminded me that tomorrow was the day I was supposed to have my school pictures taken.
I suppose that my mom and dad could have just lost it and spanked me. They didn’t…I sat and listened to my dad telling me that the scissors were dangerous and was told that I should ask permission to use them next time. My mom was very understanding and tried to clean me up from the lipstick. I’m sure some of you are wondering about the school pictures. I went and had them taken…in the picture you can still see the faint outlines of circles on my cheeks and chin and a very faint red nose. And the hair, well that couldn’t be hidden very well. It’s out there for everyone to see.
Now teenagers are a different breed of how words are taken. You have to be careful in how you say things to them. They can be sensitive and take things you say the wrong way. I have seen some terrific teenagers with incredible attitudes. I think parents have a lot of control in how their kids respond to things said to them. If you’re constantly berating your kids I’m afraid that the lack of respect you want from your teenagers is going to be lacking. Kids need someone who will sit down and talk things out with them. Not hearing how stupid, dumb, or childish they act. That will not work in helping kids during their difficult teen years. Be supportive and understanding.
My tips for speaking words of life over your teenagers:
• Ask them to sit down with you when you don’t understand why they do some of the things they do
• Be careful when angry and hold back on what you say to your kids, think about what you’re about to say. You can’t take back words spoken out of anger
• Avoid words such as stupid, dummy, idiot, no good, these promote negative feeling and lack of self-worth
• Try understanding where you child is coming from and talk about their needs, feelings, wants
• If you’re angry with your kids, by all means share why your angry without yelling, screaming, swearing. Be under control at all times.
• Take a timeout for yourself if needed, walk away and think about how you need to regain control and share why your upset.
Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.
Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.