Is Separating a Good Thing? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks
This is a tough question, and for many married couples who are struggling in a bad marriage, it’s one they ask themselves over and over again, “should we separate?” For some men and women, separation needs to happen for their sanity and for safety reasons to protect themselves and their children. For others, it’s just an excuse to end a relationship on their terms.
I can remember a man I knew who was wondering if a separation was something he needed to get his wife’s attention. I asked him what the purpose of it was? He said calmly, she’s checked out and I don’t see any movement on her part to be a part of this relationship. So, I am asking her to leave and think about what it is that she wants for her and our marriage. I am the one who pays all the bills, and she takes care of our kids. I honestly believe that she is seeing someone while I’m at work. Do you have proof I asked? No, I don’t, but she is not able to connect with me at all and trying to have a conversation with her is near impossible.
I asked him what is the purpose of planning a separation from your wife, what do you expect from her and how will she respond? I haven’t a clue he said, all I want is my wife to start being a wife and not a roommate. I provide for this family; I work hard for what we have. I get no thank you from her, and what makes matters worse, she doesn’t have to work whatsoever, she’s a very lucky woman. Do you acknowledge her as your wife and a mother to your children? Well, I sometimes do. I think recognizing her for all that she does around your home would go a long way in rebuilding your relationship with her. Some people need words of affirmation and to be noticed for what they do. We all need that for a healthy relationship. Can you do that I asked him? I suppose I can, do you think it’s worth it. Yes, I said.
Are you willing to hold off on your separation to see if you can at least jump start your marriage? He said he was and then put his trial separation on hold. I feel that his wife needed some form of recognition for all the work she had done to take care of the kids and be there for everyone. He started doing that, and amazing things began to happen. She started to open up, and he listened to her share the things that were in her heart. This my friends is just what she needed. Someone to appreciate who she was a mother and a wife.
Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!