You Can’t Run Forever, Trust Me! (3) By Dr Michael Brooks
This week, this article is loaded with tips that can help you find a way to deal with those people you avoid on purpose. There will be people and situations you find yourself in and you just want to run away and hide from those people. I think we’ve all been there at one time or another!
I loaned a friend of mine a wood splitter, and he said he needed it for the weekend. I waited for him to return it, he never called or would return my phone calls to him. After three weeks, I decided to stop by and pick it up, he wasn’t home and neither was my log splitter, that afternoon I saw him driving by at the grocery store, I waved at him, he turned his head to look away. He was avoiding me, I turned around and followed him home. His truck was in the driveway, but not my friend. I knocked on the door, and his wife answered and said that her husband wasn’t feeling well and was in bed. I told her I would wait outside and that we needed to talk. I figured that she must have told her husband that I was outside waiting for him and he’d better talk to me. He came out after several minutes and started to make excuses as to why he hadn’t returned my log splitter. I found out that he was renting it out to some of his friends. He and his wife needed some money as she was laid off from work. We talked and I said, “it would have been so much easier on both of us if he was upfront in needing money.” He agreed, I said, “avoiding me made things hard on both of us.” I let him use my log splitter to rent out and help them through a rough spot.
If you think about it, I’m sure he was embarrassed on several levels about the log splitter. Being vulnerable about sharing your financial woes to a friend can be hard, plus abusing someone’s trust in equipment they borrowed from you and then renting it out would be embarrassing in itself. It’s so much better just to be upfront and let people know you’re hurting and need their help. I think what made me angry was, he was avoiding me, and he was not returning my phone calls. Do you think I handled this matter in the right way?
Running away from people to avoid conflict is wrong in so, many ways. When you do that, you add by making matters worse for yourself and with the other person. That’s why I encourage you to deal with it right away, instead of letting it slide by. The sooner you deal with the feeling of running away the better, go to that individual and make things right. It’s the only way to give you peace of mind. Here are my tips for those of you who feel like running away and avoiding people and why doing that, will not solve your problems.
- It is just a matter of time before the lies you’ve been telling yourself will catch up with you.
- You cannot bury the truth, someone, someday, somehow, what you have done to hurt others will come to light.
- Running away is not the answer; you can’t outrun your feelings with the heavy emotional baggage you carry.
- Owning up to what is making you run and dealing with it, will give you the freedom of letting go.
- Are you afraid of making things right and putting the pain you caused others behind you? Well, we all are when we go to the people to say we’re sorry and ask for forgiveness. Trust me on this!
Do you feel frustrated about running away from your past and want help in restoring a broken relationship? Do you want help in knowing how to let go of your past so you can get on with your life? Do you need help in setting up your auto-responders, so you don’t run from those situations that cause you embarrassment? Do you need help in understanding why you run from those who you fear? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.
Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!