What are your Auto-responders? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks
Growing up my sister and I would exchange testy comebacks. We both were very good at cutting each other down. She would go after my physical characteristics. I was a goofy kid…I had pimples, my voice was changing, and she would say things to goad me into arguing with her in front of my friends. I being a kid would respond in kind with hurtful comebacks of my own. Looking back it wasn’t all that fun and caused hard feelings between us for several years.
Here are some tips to keep you from getting yourself into embarrassing arguments while effectively use your auto responders.
· If you hear something that seems like a personal attack or is a personal attack “say nothing.”
· Take a few seconds to think and select which auto responder you want to use. Remember auto responders are not hurtful comebacks. They’re to be used to defuse any situation.
· Again, know which auto responder you should use..there are several that will work in any situation.
· Look them in the eye and with a soft voice repeat your auto responder (whatever that may be) and then excuse yourself.
· Don’t argue, don’t defend yourself, just walk away.
· Even if you’re getting verbally attacked after you said your auto responder keep walking away. This can be hard because were so programmed to retaliate with a comeback. Remember you have to be in control at all times.
· Tell yourself it’s a mute point to continue to argue. If you think about it your auto responder this will keep you out of trouble every time. As long as you don’t fuel the fire by arguing you should be OK!
· When you’re able to sit down and reflect on how you used your auto responder, what could you have done differently? How could you have made your auto responder more effective? Your goal is to fine tune your auto responder after each time you use it.
Can you think of a time where you could have used an auto responder and wish you had one? I think we all could say “yes” to that question. I listened to the radio this morning and heard the morning talk show host talk about local politicians who got caught responding to their opponents with certain hand gestures (sorry folks this is a family paper) use your imagination. This was shown on the television, talked about on the radio and it’s all over the internet. You wonder what was this person thinking. His political opponent took a picture of this gesture on his cell phone and sent it to everyone in the news media. It was headline news, and very embarrassing for one particular person. All this politician had to do is simply ignore the other person. End of story.
Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of mouthy comebacks. People have been murdered, injured, made lifetime enemies…just by responding with hurtful or harmful comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.
Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a snarky remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you can call Dr. Mike and get help. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!