Facing Your Giants (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks
This week we will continue facing your giants, let’s look at what causes some of the giants you face. So my question for you today: what are the Giants that you’re facing and want help in confronting? You may have one or several Giants that control you.
Divorce/separation is a giant many will face at some time during their lifetime; whether you are in this process or a parent of an adult child who is going through a divorce or separation, this can be a big as a giant that you or your loved one will ever face. When someone doesn’t want a divorce, the pain that this causes will feel like death for those getting divorce papers served on them. I have many friends who have gone through a divorce and the stories I hear bring sadness and despair for many of them. How do you deal with this issue, well, I would suggest that you get marriage counseling ASAP. Don’t wait for the marriage to get better; get help immediately. There is no perfect time for counseling; get it now! I have had clients tell me that they’ll wait for the right time to mention getting counseling.
Sorry, just to inform you the longer you wait, the sooner your marriage will end. Issues need to be brought up and as uncomfortable as they may be, it is absolutely imperative to sit down and discuss your issues. Don’t think for a minute that avoiding talking about embarrassing issues you may have, will gain you some medal of marriage honors. It will simply destroy all levels of communication. You can’t fix what you don’t talk about. I know it can be really difficult to bring up topics such as intimacy, money, trust, but you need to be open and real about the issues you see and the ones you suspect that your spouse is dealing with. Honesty is the way to defeat your giant.
I can remember a friend of mine that got served divorce papers and had no idea that he was about to be served. His wife went and saw a divorce lawyer and filed for a divorce. He was shocked when he was served, he tried talking with her, and she would have none of it. He said he would go to counseling with her, talk with their pastor, he’d do whatever it took to save their marriage. She had her mind made up; it was over. His giant in his divorce was her refusing to explain what her reasons were for filing for divorce. It’s hard to repair a relationship when you’ve been kicked to the curb, and no communication whatsoever is coming from your spouse.
He came to find out that she was involved with another man and was sleeping with him. If they just communicated the problems before, probably this marriage could have been saved. I suggest that if you don’t want to face the giant of divorce you better take stock in what is being said and not being said. Be a good observer and read the signs before you; they will be obvious most likely. Listen well, ask questions, and communicate your feelings. This giant can be conquered if you’re willing to do the work. Divorce is not worth it, trust me on this. . Next week we will continue the article facing your giants, see if any of the giants you face are ones others face as well.
Do you need help in overcoming the giants of your past? Do you struggle with memories of broken relationships, illness, self-worth, confidence? What are the giants that you currently face and need help in defeating them? Giants can be debilitating and keep you from enjoying life and a successful life. Call Dr. Mike, and he can help you through the process of taking your giants head on and help you to move forward with your life. Why live in a defeated and hurtful past, when you can enjoy a stress-free present and future?
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!