When Your Anger Controls You! (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks
So, what should you do when you get angry at somebody??? Well, here are some steps that can help you deal with your anger. Case in point: I had one client who would physically show signs of anger; he would shake and tremble, you could see him clench his jaws, the veins would pop out on his forehead. That was a warning sign that he was about to explode. His wife would get terrified and would have to leave the house; there was no reasoning with him. The physiological signs of someone getting angry and not noticeable to you or me, they get a headache, upset stomach, their heart rate starts to climb, they begin to sweat, their face gets red and hot, they get so worked up that they may get dizzy. I’ve learned that some people that become angry can’t be reasoned with, suddenly they become the victim and blame others for their anger issues.
OK, Dr. Mike, I’ve got a question for you, is anger a choice, or is it an auto-response? In my heart of hearts, I believe it is a choice. Yes, we all get angry at times, its how we deal with it that matters. I know some people who just walk away from the situation and take some time and think about their next reaction. If you’re dwelling on your anger, then you really have no control over how your mind controls you. The many people I work with know a saying that I share with them about their anger, and this applies to people who struggle with their anger. “Does your brain control you, or do you control your brain.” Meaning, if your brain controls you, then your behavior will be spiteful, nasty, words that will cut to the core, and no remorse will be shown whatsoever on your part! When this happens, usually, the relationship is over and done with.
So, let’s say you’re the one with anger issues, how can I deal with my own personal anger problems. You may say, “I want to stop being so angry.” I have some thoughts on this and will share those with you. If you’ve played football you probably have heard your college or high school football coach say when an athlete gets injured, “try walking it off. I like to suggest walking is another means of dealing with your anger. Remember this, Walk off your anger, go for a walk, a long walk, and think about why your upset and what part do you own in your anger towards someone? And stop playing the victim card! Take some responsibility for your anger and nastiness. If you can walk, or go to the gym, then do it, exercise is a great way to release stress.
Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”
Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!
Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to email@example.com or call 303.880.9878.