Tis the Season of Stress By Dr. Michael Brooks
It’s hard to believe it’s that time of year, Christmas is fast approaching, and with it, the rise in arguments, separations and divorces. There is a reason for the rise in separation, divorces, and arguments during the winter holidays. Can you guess what those are?
One primary reason is that couples will fight over money on what to spend and where the family will spend the holidays. In-laws come in all shapes and sizes when it has to do with their attitudes and opinions toward your spouse. Some in-laws will embrace your spouse and think they are the greatest son-in-law or daughter-in-law since sliced bread. Then some in-laws, on the other hand, will think that your spouse is a direct descendant of the devil himself. Your spouse can’t do anything right no matter how hard they try. Many in-laws will try to talk their son or daughter into divorcing the son or daughter-in-law just because they don’t like them. Believe me; this happens more often than you can imagine. Money seems to be a problem around the holidays, especially Christmas. When one parent starts to buy outside the budget and does not inform the other parent, problems will start to happen. Arguments will happen, and the well-meaning mom or dad will wish they had consulted with the other parent before their spending spree.
I’m sure we all want to make our kid’s Christmas fun and create some memories that will last a lifetime. I had a client whose wife would buy her husband and two kids presents. The day after Christmas, she would take most of the presents back to the store where she bought them and get her money back. She couldn’t afford the gifts, yet the emotional damage she caused her husband and kids was a lasting pain they will never forget.
To prevent any arguments, I suggest that you have a budget meeting with your spouse on what you plan to spend and do this together. If you live within your means, there will be less arguing between you and your spouse. Here’s a question that you both need to go over, are the gifts necessary, like clothes, shoes, and school items? What do you want to spend on fun things, toys, games, bikes, etc.? Stay within your budget.
I know that teenagers can be challenging to buy for during Christmas, but you still have to plan for it. Maybe you want to get gift cards for clothes, Amazon, or electronics. Having some simple idea’s on your spending options will prevent problems down the road. If you’re on a tight budget, then I suggest that spending quality time with your kids can be lots of fun. Have a game night, make popcorn and play the games your kids like and enjoy. Go to the movies together, and spend time talking about their favorite parts and why. The more time you spend being with the kids, the less time they will dwell on what they didn’t get from you. Most kids understand the lack of funds and why no gifts are under the tree. Have activities that are geared towards the kids, like making Christmas cookies together, bless others with the cookies that you make, and have the kids be a part of delivering them. The joy they will bring to others is amazing.
Next week I will be writing about the way you communicate with your spouse and family members. An important topic during the holidays.
Do you dread the holidays, the family fights, the arguments? Are you considering a divorce because your spouse and the in-laws are making your life miserable? Do you need to be able to express that you don’t want to go to your in-laws and want the peace of staying home? Does your communication with your spouse and children need improvement? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you can contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow the loneliness of the holidays to control the new experiences that you can enjoy today.
Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times of loneliness.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Zoom with Dr. Mike, send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!