If you cheat, expect to get caught!
I’m sure you have heard the horror stories from friends and family members “I caught my ex cheating on me and I taught him/her a lesson that they will never forget”. I often wonder how hasty revenge will help any chances of a reconciliation or peaceful break up. Breaking things, giving things away, spreading rumors, making phone calls to people is not a good thing and will not help your cause. You will create a division with you’re family members, your friends, acquaintances, its best to put together a game plan that will help you take the higher ground, and get good results for you!
Most revenge plans will blow up in your face, you will get a police record if you destroy property, hit, spit, push, throw things, slap, etc, you’re going to get finger printed and your picture taken. This will always be on your personal record and trying to get a good job with this kind of info that’s just a click away on a “background check” of all places on the Internet, is not a good thing for you, I’m sure you get the idea!
I suggest that you find someone you can trust and have this individual be your sounding board, run things past them that you unsure of, make sure that whoever you pick is not a gossip or a vengeful person. If you pick someone that encourages you to get a divorce while they are in a troubled marriage, most likely they are using you and living through the advice they are giving you (usually bad). They don’t have the guts to do their own divorce, but will live through you while you do yours. I have seen this happen to several people, and they have regretted choosing a vengeful person to help them, so be careful. A well meaning friend can cost you lots of money with lawyers, the court system, and the loss of your marriage.
Here’s what to look for when finding a friend to be your sounding board, while discovering your spouse cheating.
- A level headed calm person who listens well.
- Someone who goes with facts and not feelings.
- Someone who seeks the marriage first and divorce second.
- Someone who will not rush you into anything that’s bad for your children.
- a person who will not encourage you to start dating out of revenge.
- A person who will encourage you to be truthful
- Someone who will encourage counseling and open communication with your spouse.
You may have a spouse that wants nothing to do with you, since they have been caught. My best suggestion, is to get divorce counseling for yourself and children if they are involved, but certainly get divorce coaching and divorce counseling for yourself. Write out you biggest concerns and needs and wants in regards to ending your marriage. Find legal counsel if there is abuse involved. If you want help with putting together a game plan with this topic, contact info is below.
Many of you have expressed an interest in talking with me about how to save your marriage, or how to end it. Having gone through the pain myself, I’d be glad to help.
It won’t just go away by itself. Let me help you resolve one of the most painful times in your life, so you can start moving forward again. Make that your first step right now.