The Narcissist “The Devil’s In The Details.”(3) By Dr. Michael Brooks
Ok, I have a good idea on what to expect from a narcissist but how do you interact (communicate) with them? I find myself wanting to go toe to toe with them and just unload on them with all the attacks, and underhanded things they do to me. How do I deal with that?
Here are some guidelines when trying to interact with a narcissist. Remember when talking with these folks you are just trying to keep calmness with them. It’s difficult to please them and certainly not always enjoyable spending time in their presence.
• Don’t expect too much from a narcissist, they demand much and give little. All they want from you is to be understanding and obedient to their needs.
• Many times a narcissist will expect you to read their minds and understand where they are coming from. So listen to what they say and be ready to repeat it back to them to reinforce your position in what you heard. Don’t argue with them, it only fuels their enjoyment of putting their victims down.
• Complement them when an occasion occurs. Don’t be syrupy sweet with them. Meaning don’t overdo your complement. They will see through this and will challenge you on the spot. Make it sincere and genuine. Don’t complement all the time…short and sweet will work.
• Avoid arguing with a narcissist, you will never be able to present your side and get a compromise from them. Remember it only adds fuel to the fire and they enjoy a constant fight.
• If you keep falling into the trap of wanting to fight and argue then back away and just keep quiet. Keep the peace in the house. Keep your boundaries and insist that you will not argue. Narcissists will want to argue with you through texting, phone, and e-mails. Avoid these temptations. Believe me you will be so glad that you are not falling into the trap that narcissists use against you.
The key here is to wait things out be patient, avoid the unnecessary disagreements, and avoid being sucked in by a narcissists, anger, selfishness, self- centeredness and the attacks directed at you.
Now on the other hand if you need to have a serious talk with a narcissist and it turns out to be an argument here are some tips in dealing with those situations. Be consistent in how you talk with a narcissist.
Do you need help in dealing with a narcissist in your life and want to figure out what your next steps are? Are you afraid of the person you are married to and need advice in how to talk to them? Are you seeking help for your spouse who may be a narcissist? You may ask yourself how do I talk to my spouse who is a narcissist? If you answered yes to any of these questions and would like some help contact Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555
Dr. Michael Brooks
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