The Easy Way Out (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks
This week, we will be giving you tips on how to better communicate with someone who avoids confrontation and tries to bail on you when you want to talk.
I am asked on a regular basis, what is the best way to communicate effectively without poking my spouse in the eye with some of my questions? That is a great question. Here are some of my tips for good sound communication:
• Have a list of well thought out questions that are consistent with the issues in your relationship
• Don’t get side tracked and stay on topic
• Don’t interrupt your spouse while they are speaking
• Listen to what is being said and respond accordingly
• Have suggested solutions to talk about
• Ask questions and clarify your responses
• Be honest in your responses
• When ending your conversation make sure that you’re good to go
I feel the number one reason for divorce is the lack of communication and not knowing how to work through marriage problems. The person who wants the “easy way out” will not want to sit down and talk. They will blow you off with either sarcastic remarks or avoid any serious talks with you. That’s why you need to start talking when you see issues starting to crop up in your marriage. It’s so much easier to deal with any problem in your relationship in the early stages rather than towards the end. Better to be in counseling to work on your marriage and not in your divorce lawyer’s office.
Communications starts with you. If your communication skills are lacking, I would suggest that you get some coaching on how to better express the needs that you desire in your marriage. Communication is key in resolving any conflict in your marriage. First of all, not all conflict is bad. If you regularly have talks about your relationship, you eliminate big fights. Being open and honest with your feelings is very important. If you’re honest, you don’t have to lie about the way you feel.
So let’s say you’re trying to talk to your spouse, and they have no interest in communicating with you. How do I handle that problem? I simply suggest that you need to clear the air and talk with your spouse and let them know that you’re struggling with some personal and marital issues within the relationship and that you need their input and want to talk about it. Have a plan that will allow you to share your concerns yet not make your spouse feel they were verbally attacked. Presentation is key here. Talk softly, be calm and be gentle and present your thoughts and concerns. Your goal here is to be able to provide a safe place for both of you to talk and share solutions for repairing your marriage.
Next week, I would like to show you how ignoring or avoiding marriage problems could be the demise of your marriage. Making a marriage stronger takes work but is well worth the effort.
Do you fear confrontation and will avoid it at any cost, even if it complicates your relationship with your spouse? Do you feel that taking the path of least resistance is painful and has hurt you in the past? Would you like help in being able to stand up and address taking the easy way out? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call. He can help you today. His number is 303.880.9878.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!