In part (1) we covered the basics of forgiveness, this week we will go over a plan on how implement forgiveness techniques. Take a look and see if these tips can help you over come some of your unforgiveness. If you need to go to someone and make things right make that happen today, don’t delay! Today’s tips are 1 through 5.
1. Nobody’s Perfect we all screw up
You’re not perfect and neither am I, no matter how hard we try to be. We are all human and we all make mistakes. I remember reading a book about a woman who had a near death experience, and one of the things she wrote about was how she realized how often she had offended people on earth and had absolutely no idea that she had done it. At some point you will need to ask someone for forgiveness, so humble yourselves and learn to forgive others when they need it… whether they ask for it or not.
2. You’ve Been Forgiven and so have I
This goes back to my first point in that at some point in your life you will need forgiveness. I’m sure you can think of at least one occasion in your life, let’s think back to high school if your memory is a bit foggy. I do believe to a degree that what goes around comes around, so if you can get in the flow of forgiving others you will find that (hopefully) you will be forgiven when needed as well.
3. Don’t Take It Personally
This can be so hard to do, but it’s necessary and so helpful to get through this thing called life. I can’t tell you how many times I have thought that someone was mad at me or ignoring me, when really they were just incredibly busy or dealing with their own drama or pain to even remember me. We all do it at some point. I have learned (and am still learning) to not take things so personally, because often another person’s behavior has nothing to do with you. I guess I should say that my default is no longer to take things personally. There will still be times where we are the source of another person’s negative reactions or words, but it shouldn’t be our default assumption.
4. Their Shoes
We’ve all heard this a thousand times: to try to put ourselves in other’s shoes. There’s no way to truly do that. But I do find that if I try to be as thoughtful as possible and don’t take things personally, it’s easier to consider the position another person is coming from and why they may behave the way that they do. I read the other day that “hurt people hurt people.” It’s so true. If you have a thorny person in your life they are probably dealing with a lot of pain that needs to be healed. It’s not up to you to heal them obviously, but you can at least consider that when dealing with them.
5. Life Is Short
This quote from Mother Teresa sums this up better than I can.
“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, they may accuse you of having selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You … see, in the end, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.”
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