Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks
We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be.
“What do we do now,” is pretty important…
Step three, ok, your relationship is still up in the air after you’ve talked, your not sure where your marriage is headed. You have no answers and yet neither of you wants to commit to getting a divorce, so, what do you do now? I think that this step in figuring “What do we do now,” is pretty important. I suggest starting building each other up, talk about your spouse’s positive attributes and what they mean to you.
What is it that you admire about your spouse, keep in mind you both know each other’s negatives, so don’t go there. I think talking about the good things you like in your spouse opens the doors for healing and the less negative talk there is the better. I suggest you stop talking to people during this time who are encouraging you to get a divorce. Don’t let people poison the possibility of your reconciliation and having a happy life together. People love to gossip and especially about your marriage problems. If you know someone who is a gossip avoid them at all costs. Say positive things about your spouse, most people will never spread something you say when you’re speaking encouraging and positive words about your spouse.
In closing, I want to share with you a story that will give those hope who are considering divorce as a last resort. A dear friend of mine was madly in love with his wife of twenty years. He found out that she was having an affair with a co-worker. You know he was devastated and hurt when he found out. His world was crashing all around him. He asked if she would go to counseling with him, she said no, not interested! He never judged her, he always spoke kindly about her to others. She continued to see this other man, and throughout seven months of that relationship, it started to deteriorate and eventually ended. Several of her friends would tell her that her estranged husband always spoke about her in a positive way. They started dating and renewed their marriage vows. There is hope for those who can stick it out if counseling is considered by both. You don’t always have to run to a divorce lawyer when things get bad. Get the facts, process the facts and then decide after talking to a counselor what you need to do. Don’t rush into anything that you will be sorry for.
In conclusion, you have to decide if you really are committed to working on your marriage or ending it. You can’t go into this with fifty percent wait and see attitude, that’s not how this works. Give it your all or walk away. I’d say go into this with your eyes wide open.
Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you need help.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!