When Your Anger Controls You! (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on September 29, 2020 by drbrooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Have you ever given much thought to the reasons why you get angry? We all get upset at times when someone irritates us, or we don’t get our way for some reason or another. What is the core of our anger? Why do we let our anger get the best of us? I hope that we have uncovered ways that you can release the anger that builds inside you, and you have tools to deal with it.

Getting angry can cost you in many ways!

 

What causes you to get angry? Think about the people who have made you angry in the past? What did they do, or didn’t do that got you upset? Was it words or actions that set you off? We all have to deal with anger; it’s just how we deal with it that people see. For example, I know many people hate waiting in line. Yesterday, I was waiting in line at the bank drive-up window. There were two cars ahead of me as I was in a hurry for a meeting. The bank teller was taking her time serving the bank customers in front of me. Honestly, the two cars ahead of me took 10 minutes to help. I was in a hurry, what could I have done differently and not get impatient or angry? Pretty easy solution, just come back after my errands or pick another time of the day. So, instead of focusing on what makes you angry, try to fix the problem, anger will not resolve the issue, it’ll only make it worse.

Once you have dealt with your anger, now what? It’s time to let go of your anger and get on with life. If you know of the source that caused you to get angry, forgive, and put it behind you. There is no reason to dwell on the people that cause you to get angry. Yes, it will take time to let it go, but life will be much better for you if you are not holding a grudge.

Know when you need to get help; If anger is eating you up, you just can’t let it go, then get help. Anger can consume and destroy you, your family, friends, and co-workers. I have seen it happen to many people that I know and counsel. If your anger causes you to do things you regret or hurt those around you, then you need to talk to someone who can help you.

In closing, remember angry people are not very approachable, seldom have friends who can tolerate them, and will make your life a living hell if you allow them to. My thought is this, if they make your life uncomfortable, either you distant yourself from them or end, end the relationship. If you want peace and tranquility, then take that step that will make it happen.

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

 

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When Your Anger Controls You! (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on August 27, 2020 by drbrooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Here are a few of my helpful tips when dealing with your anger or with someone that you know. We all face being angry at times, and these tips will help guide you through the minefields of your personal anger or those you know who have anger issues.

Taste it before you say it; if you think your words are going to be insulting, mean, nasty, and you’ll be sorry for saying something you ought not, then don’t say it. Stop right there and say nothing, take some time to cool down. Walk away and give yourself some time to figure out what happened and why it did. Give others the benefit of the doubt, don’t assume someone has it out for you.

When your angry, go for a walk or a bike ride; when I feel like I’m getting angry, I go for a long walk. I use this time to think about the reasons why I am getting angry. I look for reasons as to why this person upset me and how I should have reacted to it. Could I have handled it in a better way or say something differently, probably?

Step back from the situation; After I realize that I may be getting upset, I will step back and evaluate my reasons for getting angry. Basically, it’s a self-time out for me. I will not say anything in response to a personal attack, although I will bite my lip and walk away, at least I will not get myself into trouble. So, if your feeling like you’re going to get out of control, just walk away from the person or situation.

After time passes by and you have calmed down; then address what is making you angry. Walkthroughoutbursts,  the steps as to why and how you got upset and angry. Could you have walked away sooner? Were you reacting to someone’s tone of voice or facial expressions? Did you have a chip on your shoulder before you got angry? These are the kinds of questions you have to ask yourself and plan accordingly to prevent an angry outburst.

Give yourself a timeout; I suggest that if someone gets you really upset, then take a timeout and walk away for a certain period of time. I’ve known clients who have taken a permanent timeout from a toxic family member or a relationship. They ended all ties with this individual and moved on with their life. You can do this as well, believe me, its hard at first, but maybe this is what you need to give you some peace of mind.

I had a friend of twenty plus years who seemed to have a grudge against life itself. I noticed that this friend would get upset and angry at the slightest irritation. He threatened people with lawsuits, would get into people’s faces, treat others with disrespect, during the time I knew him he attacked me, and finally, I had enough of it. I called him out on one of his attacks on me, and my friend made it very clear he has the right to attack whomever he felt challenged him on his anger. I decided right then and there that I had to drop him as a friend. I have had no regrets and have a peace of mind since I did that!

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls You! (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on August 5, 2020 by drbrooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are you struggling with anger issues? Today Dr. Mike will cover different kinds of anger that people face. A question for Dr. Mike, are there different kinds of anger? Yes, to answer your question: several experts have published contradicting lists of anger types, but some widely accepted forms of anger include:

  • Chronic anger, which is prolonged, can impact the immune system and be the cause of other mental disorders
  • Passive anger, which doesn’t always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify
  • Overwhelmed anger, which is caused by life demands that are too much for an individual to cope with
  • Self-inflicted anger, which is directed toward the self and may be caused by feelings of guilt
  • Judgmental anger, which is directed toward others and may come with feelings of resentment
  • Volatile anger, which involves sometimes-spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger

If you look at this list, do you know of some in your family or friend contacts who have one of these forms of anger? I’m sure you do. The common one that I deal with is Judgmental anger. These people are the people who judge, act as a jury, then become the executioner, and are extremely opinionated. Once they have judged you, seldom do they admit they could be wrong about the person they are judging. Case in point, there was a man sharing his story about a personal experience he had at work. Then suddenly a man in the group interrupted this guy, saying he was wrong, he said that this man had no clue what he was talking about. I sat there, waiting to see what would happen next! The man sharing the story started to explain to this man the events in greater detail, and the guy judging this man became even angrier. I later found out that this individual had a real big problem in judging several people in this group. I’ve learned that I will not tolerate these kinds of people in my personal life.

Anger can be signs of serious issues

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. Let’s face it, who wants to hang around someone that is judgemental all the time?

If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls you! (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on July 13, 2020 by drbrooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

So, what should you do when you get angry at somebody??? Well, here are some steps that can help you deal with your anger. Case in point: I had one client who would physically show signs of anger; he would shake and tremble, you could see him clench his jaws, the veins would pop out on his forehead. That was a warning sign that he was about to explode. His wife would get terrified and would have to leave the house; there was no reasoning with him. The physiological signs of someone getting angry and not noticeable to you or me, they get a headache, upset stomach, their heart rate starts to climb, they begin to sweat, their face gets red and hot, they get so worked up that they may get dizzy. I’ve learned that some people that become angry can’t be reasoned with, suddenly they become the victim and blame others for their anger issues.

Anger issues can destroy your family, cost you your job, and even end your marriage!

OK, Dr. Mike, I’ve got a question for you, is anger a choice, or is it an auto-response? In my heart of hearts, I believe it is a choice. Yes, we all get angry at times, its how we deal with it that matters. I know some people who just walk away from the situation and take some time and think about their next reaction. If you’re dwelling on your anger, then you really have no control over how your mind controls you. The many people I work with know a saying that I share with them about their anger, and this applies to people who struggle with their anger. “Does your brain control you, or do you control your brain.” Meaning, if your brain controls you, then your behavior will be spiteful, nasty, words that will cut to the core, and no remorse will be shown whatsoever on your part! When this happens, usually, the relationship is over and done with.

So, let’s say you’re the one with anger issues, how can I deal with my own personal anger problems. You may say, “I want to stop being so angry.” I have some thoughts on this and will share those with you. If you’ve played football you probably have heard your college or high school football coach say when an athlete gets injured, “try walking it off. I like to suggest walking is another means of dealing with your anger. Remember this, Walk off your anger, go for a walk, a long walk, and think about why your upset and what part do you own in your anger towards someone? And stop playing the victim card! Take some responsibility for your anger and nastiness. If you can walk, or go to the gym, then do it, exercise is a great way to release stress.

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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When Your Anger Controls You! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on July 9, 2020 by drbrooks

When Your Anger Controls You! (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Over the years, I have known several people, including some friends of mine, that have serious anger issues. I’ve never been an angry person, nor has anybody in my family growing up! I was wondering how even to start this article today with so many people angry with the COVID-19 pandemic and with the civil unrest in our country. People are angry if you don’t wear a mask, people are upset if you do wear a mask. We have a lot of angry people walking around our streets, in stores, in homes. I am seeing angry people everywhere, where I go grocery shopping, at the parks that I walk at, people in general are angry and upset.

An angry man driving a vehicle is expressing his road rage. Can you control your anger?

This past weekend I had a friend of mine who got upset and angry that a woman he was interested in and going to meet, and hike with, called and canceled on him. I explained that there was an unforeseen medical emergency for this woman. His immediate response was, “Boy, she has a lot of excuses for not showing up to events.” I looked at him disbelief and explained again about this woman’s son was rushed to the ER overnight. He didn’t get it; it was all about him, not this other person’s emergency, and he stewed about it all day. He was upset at this individual and angry about her not showing up.

I’m sure we all have had those individuals in our family or friends that show the angry side once in a while. This sad and upsetting behavior needs to be confronted at one time or another. Honestly, I used to let people live in their anger and ignore it. Sure, it bothered me, and I knew that hanging around someone that has an anger problem isn’t healthy for them or for me. I decided to do something about it. I have set boundaries for myself, if someone has anger issues and they don’t deal with their anger after I speak with them, and they continue being angry, I am done with them. My life has been so much more at peace since I’ve done that.

So what causes anger issues in each one of us? There are several reasons that cause anger triggers in people: These include personal problems, stress, family problems, financial issues, unmet expectations in a relationship, or at work. Maybe someone cancels a planned event that you were going to attend. Rush hour traffic, car accidents, perhaps some people feel threatened by others or intimidated by their social status. There are several reasons why anger can be an issue for some people.

Do you get upset if someone cuts in front of you in heavy traffic? Do you get angry when someone interrupts you during a conversation? Do you feel the need to defend yourself if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion? Getting upset and angry is normal and can be a healthy emotion, but uncontrolled anger can destroy families and relationships. If you answered any of these questions with a yes, then maybe you should talk with Dr. Mike, he can help you deal with your anger or anger from another person.

Next week we will continue with this series “When Your Anger Controls You”

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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Zoom Meeting on Co-dependency June 26th, how to deal with it! Check time zone for your meeting time!

Posted on June 25, 2020 by drbrooks

Just a reminder that we will be having our Zoom meeting tomorrow on Friday, June 26th at 2:00 Mountain time, 1:00 PM West coast time, 3:00 Central time, and 4:00 East Coast time.

Here is the link to get into the meeting.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82321940460?pwd=ZVFMWUNJZ0pXbUdJNG05bUJVKzFqdz09
Meeting ID: 823 2194 0460
Password: 507459

Here are some of the questions we will cover tomorrow:

  1. Does your sense of purpose involve making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs?
  2. Is it difficult to say no when your partner makes demands on your time and energy?
  3. Do you cover your partner’s problems with drugs, alcohol, or the law?
  4. Do you constantly worry about others’ opinions of you?
  5. Do you feel trapped in your relationship?
  6. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?

For the “enabler.”

  1. How did you become afraid of conflict?

  2. What has caused you to be uncomfortable with receiving?

  3. When did you begin to find your self-esteem in being a giver? Or to make sacrifices constantly for others? Do you like control too much?

  4. Does your partner’s problem tend to make you feel superior to him or her? If so, what has made that important to feel?

  5. What is keeping you in the relationship? Are you afraid of leaving, and why?

We will continue where we left off last week on Co-dependant relationships- this could be a spouse, family member, or a friend. The discussion has been lively and great perspectives are shared. If you’re codependent and feel the need to have someone in your life, join us as we work through codependent relationships. Rana Justice and I will moderate this group meeting.

We also want to look at our fall meetings, to try to figure out what dates and times work for you. Topics discussed will include Boundaries, The 5 Love Languages, and the Colorcode series. I’ll go more into the descriptions in a few weeks. If you have questions or want to address a specific topic, please let me know and send it to me. I will keep it confidential who sent the info and question. This is a great group, and if you know of others who may benefit from this group, please invite them.

Look forward to seeing you tomorrow,

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Living in Fear (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on June 23, 2020 by drbrooks

Living in Fear (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week, we will start addressing ways to deal with your fears. Give this some thought as you write down your fears. So, I would like to give you some homework. List all your fears that you struggle with. Sit down with a pen and paper and start making that list. Once you’ve done that, then prioritize your list. Number #1 is the highest on your list, then go on to numbers 2, 3, 4. 5, and so on.

After you have decided what number #1 is, then list the reasons why you fear that particular issue. Write down all the reasons and take your time in doing this. The more information you can provide, the better in dealing with your specific fear. What are the pros and cons of this fear? How has it hindered you in the way you live or deal with people? Once you see the cons of your fears, then you will start looking at the ways to deal with it. It certainly will open the doors to your healing and moving on past the fears you struggle with.

What is considered a good and healthy fear? There are many of these when you consider the good reasons for fear. When a mother or dad scold a child getting too near a hot burner on the stove, yes, that’s a healthy fear. When the child actually touches the hot burner for themselves and learns not to do that even after the warning from a parent, you can bet that child probably will not touch that burner ever again.

What is considered a bad and unhealthy fear? Any fear that prevents you from living your life. Fears that keep you away from people, places, and situations. Maybe someone who loves and cares about you may say something to you about your avoidance of people or places. People can see through us when we are fearful and don’t deal with the fears that cripple us. They can see how we react to our fears and how our fears control us. There are some legitimate fears people face, the fear of flying, the fear of needles, the fear of the dentist. I have, in some ways, had a fear of these things in the past, but overcame them because of necessity. I had to get a root canal, oh, yes, you and I have heard how painful they were and how the tears would roll down your cheeks during the procedure, and afterward, the pain would keep you up all night! I didn’t care what I heard, my tooth was killing me, and I didn’t want to deal with the pain any longer. With great trepidation, I called and made an appointment with the dentist. As I sat in the dentist’s chair, I explained to him my great fear of needles, and of a bad experience as a kid with an army dentist. He assured me that I wouldn’t feel much of the needle, and honestly, I didn’t. The procedure went smoothly and was over with before I knew it. Let’s face it, I was forced to deal with my fear of needles and dentists “Jonny” on the spot! Now, I honestly don’t stress over seeing the dentist or getting shots. This could have been a real health crisis if I didn’t make that call. Bad teeth can be an issue for the heart. So, if your fears keep you from seeking medical attention, then that’s not good. Deal with the problem, get help, and get peace!

In next week’s article, I’ll have some suggestions on how I dealt with my own fears and how I moved on to live a life without the fears that were holding me back. I’ll provide some valuable tips that you can use in dealing with your fears!

Do you feel frustrated with the fears that hold you down and prevent you from living? Do you want help in dealing with your fears and moving on with your life? Do you need to identify your fears and how to manage them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and dating. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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Zoom Codependency meeting Friday June 19th 2:00 Mountain Time

Posted on June 18, 2020 by drbrooks
Greetings my Readers on Idontwantthisdivorce.com,
Just a reminder that we will be having our Zoom meeting on co-dependency tomorrow on Friday, June 19th at 2:00 Mountain time, 1:00 PM West coast time, 3:00 Central time, and 4:00 East Coast time.
Here is the link to get into the meeting.
 
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82321940460?pwd=ZVFMWUNJZ0pXbUdJNG05bUJVKzFqdz09
Meeting ID: 823 2194 0460
Password: 507459
 
We will continue where we left off last week on Co-dependant relationships- this could be a spouse, family member, or a friend. The discussion has been lively and great perspectives were shared. If you’re codependent and need to have someone in your life, join us as we work through codependent relationships. Rana Justice and I will moderate this group meeting.
 
We also want to look at our fall meetings, to try to figure out what dates and times work for you. Topics discussed will include Boundaries, The 5 Love Languages, and the Colorcode series. I’ll go more into the descriptions in a few weeks. If you have questions or want to address a specific topic, please let me know and send it to me. I will keep it confidential who sent the info and question. This is a great group, and if you know of others who may benefit from this group, please invite them.
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Living in Fear (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on June 15, 2020 by drbrooks

Living in Fear (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Continuing this week on “Living in Fear,” we’ll learn how to start dealing with the fears that hold you back. And how I overcame my fears with some simple steps and moved forward with my life.

I remember when my older brother had moved to Minneapolis from Chicago when I was eleven years old. I hadn’t seen him for several months after his move. I saw him sitting on the couch when I came home after school, talking with my dad. I was too shy to go over and say Hi to him. My dad said Mikey, come over here and say hi to your brother. That’s how shy I was, and I would embarrass very easily as a kid. Something inside of me told me I’d better start getting over my fear of shyness and meeting new people. I decided that I would try to make some new friends in our neighborhood on the South Side of Chicago.

I loved sports and did OK when we had pick-up baseball games in our city park. Most of the time, I would be the last one picked to be on a team because I didn’t really know anybody. I was OK with that. When summer was over and school started, there was a teacher I had in 5th grade. His name was Mr. Hunt. He would have us play softball in gym class and at recess. He taught me how to catch, how to bat, he spent quality time teaching me how to play the game of baseball. He must have seen something in me because I sure didn’t, he taught me that I could hit, field and run the bases. That following summer, when we had pick-up games, I was usually picked first or made a team captain. My shyness was now becoming a thing of the past, and I was making friends through my love of sports. That has carried on today for my love and passion for the outdoors. Making friends isn’t a problem. Once in a while, the shyness creeps in when I am in a social setting. The key to overcoming my shyness was getting involved with people I didn’t know and doing something that I enjoyed and that was sports.

OK, Dr. Mike, that’s a great story, but I have different fears and want to know how I can overcome them as you did, how can I do that? I think the first step is to identify what your fears are. Many fears can comingle with each other and need to be separated so you can work on each one. For example, my fear of moving can also be a part of the fear of making new friends, the fear of a new school and new teachers, the fear of a new neighborhood. When I went to the city park to play softball, this was my first step in dealing with the fear of shyness and fear of making new friends. It worked out that the other fears I had, worked themselves out too. I didn’t tell my parents that I was shy and avoided people! I’m sure they noticed that about me, but never said anything to me about being shy. I wasn’t a natural at making new friends, but the sports helped, and growing into my teen and adulthood years, sports is what got me through making new friends.

In next week’s article, I’ll have some suggestions on how I dealt with my own fears and how I moved on to live a life without the fears that were holding me back. I’ll provide some valuable tips that you can use in dealing with your fears!

Do you feel frustrated with the fears that hold you down and prevent you from living? Do you want help in dealing with your fears and moving on with your life? Do you need to identify your fears and how to manage them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and dating. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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Living in Fear (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Posted on June 12, 2020 by drbrooks

Living in Fear (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

What monsters live under your bed at night? Meaning, what causes you great fear? Is it something in your past that has been hidden for years, or maybe a confrontation with someone that you have been dreading. There are many reasons we all deal with fears in our lives. Each one of us, at some point in time, has lived in fear of someone or something!

Fear can cause anxiety, depression, and failure

Growing up, one of my biggest fears as a child was moving. My dad, as many of you know, was a career military officer. We constantly moved, in the states, and Europe. You really never settled in one place; when my dad’s orders came, we moved. Making new friends was hard for any kid whose parents served in the military. I know for many of us military brats, most of us have a fear of moving. We rarely saw our cousins, grandparents, or aunts and uncles. That is just the way it was.

So, what fears are you facing today? Health issues, relationships problems, or unmet expectations! We can deal with our fears in healthy ways or unhealthy ways. I’d have to say dealing with our fears in a healthy way takes courage, planning, and maybe some counseling/coaching. If your fears control you, then you will most likely: avoid, run away, change the subject, make different plans, forget, and find any excuse not to face your fears!

Growing up, I hated, and I mean that in every way, meeting new people or being at family gatherings or family reunions. I was such a shy kid growing up. We moved all the time as a military family, you had, new schools, new friends, and that compounded my shyness. As a kid, the fears we had could most likely be talked away by our parents or older siblings. Not so much as an adult, our fears control us in many unusual ways. When I counsel people, the most common fears and worries I hear about are: Jobs, finances, children, in-laws, their future, and many more. I think for the most part, kids live in a world that’s pretty predictable, friends, electronics, food, etc. Kids will fear and worry about: parents who may be divorcing, a family member or pet that’s ill, losing friends, etc. So, next week, I want to slowly look into how to face your fears.

In next week’s article, I’ll have some suggestions on how I dealt with my own fears and how I moved on to live a life without the fears that were holding me back. I’ll provide some valuable tips that you can use in dealing with your fears!

Do you feel frustrated with the fears that hold you down and prevent you from living? Do you want help in dealing with your fears and moving on with your life? Do you need to identify your fears and how to manage them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need to talk.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Mike will be having Zoom classes on; How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and dating relationships. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family and friends. Then lastly, Dr. Mike will be having a class on the Colorcode, why we do the things we do, how to deal with the negative people in your life. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mbrooks3353@gmail.com or call 303.880.9878.

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